And feeling sorry for myself.<P>I see there are a few of us posting tonight. I pray things are better for us all soon.<BR>Lora

Hi Lora. What's going on tonight? Sorry you're feeling a little down. I'm here if you want to chat or just vent.<BR>cybil

I wish I had a glass of wine. But I'm here all alone too.

Hi Lora,<P>White or red wine? I don't have a glass of wine, just whinning (LOL). Actually I hate whiners but I like drinkin' it (wine). Ok being a bit silly here and didn't even have a drop!!! LOL. Me? I like a light'n fruity wine like a white zin.<P>How are you doing? <P>L.

The wine is Gwertsraminer .. cant spell and Im not even drunk.<P>The whine is... Geeze im tired of all this crap.

My favorite white wine.

Well I don't drink, but I'll join ya, I am kinda packrat, and kept a lot of the correspondence between ow and I. I had refused to let w look at it, but as part of the reconcilliation effort she has the right to look at it, so tonight she is reading it. She has been doing pretty good last few weeks, even with the revelation was pa as well as ea, but she has an evil side to her, and ow topics bring it out and she LB like crazy. So will be a lousy weekend, hopefully she doesn't kill me, but she has said she fully intends to go have her own affair and see what all this feels like. It has even gotten to be a sort of black joke, the evil w. I told her it was the w I was trying to get away from, and did she like her evil side, she says no, and wants to change. So I suggest she not read the stuff (is incindiary for sure), she just looks at me very hard, and says she is gonna read it....*sigh*. I may have to divorce her anyways.

Hi all. i'm not really a wine drinker I prefer White Russians (Kahula,cream,& Vodka).<BR>cybil

Me too Sad but true,<P>Do you think we might be soulmates? <P>Lora

sad n lonely do you really think it may come to that? I mean your W having an A just to see what it's like or possibly view it as getting even?<BR>cybil

sad and lonely,<P>My friend today told me about a friend of hers that one night couldnttake it any more and hit her H on the head with a castiron frying pan. Said he was never quite the same. I'm considering it as I would like my H to be different. Affairs bring out the evil in everyone. They are evil and selfish.<BR>Lora

If I had an affair it would not be for revenge, it would be to feel that someone, any one could be kind to me, to feel that I wasnt a total faiure as a woman.

I HATE that word...soulmates...<P>H and I went to a tv show 'pilot' viewing...a marketing thing...and don't ya know...one of the shows was called "Soulmates." It was all I could do not to go running out of the room...<P>Anyways....most wines make me sleepy so I don't drink them...give me a stiff bourbon and gingerale any day...had a great new drink in Vegas...bourbon, gingerale, and orange bitters...<P>I'm pretty sick of this stuff too...I don't necessarily want my life back the way it was...but I would like to not be walking on eggshells...would like to feel 'at ease' with my H again...<P>SadNLonely...wish your wife wouldn't read the stuff...I read all my H's and OW's emails to each other plus heard all her voicemails...<I>You are my soulmate</I>...and sometimes it is d*** tough...If I knew what I know now, I'd just skip it...<P>Cali

Lora you are NOT I repeat NOT a totaly failure as a woman or as a person in general. Please don't say that. I know you are lonely. We are all lonely. What I miss the most is my H holding me while we slept. I miss that tremendously! <BR>cybil

Ya cali,<P>Its hard to resist knowing more tho, at a certain point after so many lies, you just think if only I could have some truth to hang on to. I guess i am lucky I dont know that many details.<BR>Lora

That's what's driving me cray just having bits and pieces but no real truth. I think if I actually knew the truth it would be easier for me to move on. I can't deal with the lies. How do you get over that? I feel that if my H ever did come home I would never be able to totally believe him because of the lies.<BR>cybil

Yep Lora...we're not failures...but it would be nice to know someone DESIRES us...<P>I want to drowned in a kiss...<BR>I want to dance 'til I'm dizzy...<BR>I want someone to look into my eyes...<BR>I want to feel shivery, quivery...<BR>I want my heart to beat faster...<P>but most of all,<BR>I want someone else<BR>to feel that way about me, <BR>too.<P>(and, if it were my H, <BR>I'd be in heaven...)<P>but, sometimes, <BR>in the midst of all this,<BR>HELL has its attraction.<P>Cali

Thanks cybil,<BR>Why do I still cry if anyone says somthing nice to me? <BR>Lora

Well good tonight I'm getting really tired. Talk to everyone later. Have a great weekend. Hope it's a good one for all of us.<BR>cybil

Yes cali,<BR>I'm afraid I might get to the point where I am not to selective about who makes me feel that way.<P>Cybil, with time and if your H becomes truely remorseful I think you can give up the need to know all. It just doesnt matter so much any more once it doesnt matter to him any more.<BR>Lora