Hello, everyone...<P>I posted this over on Prayer Requests, too, so if you read it there, don't bother reading again, cause it's the same report!<P>Well, I finally had a conversation by phone w/my H last night. Those of you who know my story know this in itself is a miracle! It's been over 12 weeks since I last spoke w/him.<P>We have a burst pipe under the house somewhere, and I was truly at my wits' end, not knowing what to do, how to tackle it, or fix it. It's not that I'm a wilting willow or anything. It's just that, this is such a major thing, and there are several ways to go, plus the stress of tearing up the floor and finding/fixing it....well, it just wasn't a thing I wanted to decide all by myself. Soooo, I called my SS and he called his dad. Told his dad (I was listening on the speaker phone) that I was stressing out, and he should call me. Before I could even get off the phone w/SS H did call!<P>Well, I almost "lost" the call, cause I wasn't off w/SS yet, so I kept saying "Hello? Hello?" and he was, too, and then he said, "Can't you hear me? It's your <B>H</B>." As soon as I heard him say that, I burst into tears! My crying is NOT a LB for him, so it was OK. In fact, I am NOT a crier, so my crying actually has the effect of making him want to comfort me, since I rarely do it. I just couldn't help myself! I mean, 3 months of NO CONTACT, and it all just came gushing out. I cried throughout our entire conversation.<P>I explained the situation w/the plumbing, and kept apologizing for putting this on him, but told him I was at the end of my rope, trying to handle it all alone. He kept saying, "It's OK, breath deep, calm down, it's OK." He was sooo sweet!!! Then he asked questions, and told me which way I should go and how to have them fix it. In the middle of the conversation, when I told him it would have to wait, though, cause next week, I am scheduled to have "procedure" done at hospital, he immediately JUMPED in (cut me off, really) and said, "Procedure? WHY?? Did they find something wrong?? What's wrong?" I assured him, it was just an annual check-up after last year's surgery, and he said no more about it, but I think I saw the REAL feelings he had for me come out. That'll give him something to think about - that "life goes on" whether we try to run from it, or think a person will "always be there" or whatever, none of us has that guarantee.<P>We relaxed a little bit after the plumbing business, and even joked around a little bit, talked for 30 minutes. I think I was able to Plan A pretty good, and it was a very enjoyable conversation for us both. I found out about his work, and that he didn't change his cell #, like I thought, so he couldn't get my calls. He lost it, for lack of payment. So much for the "better life" he left to seek. <P>So, I feel the "ice was broken" and now our conversations will become more frequent. He even said, "Call and let me know about this." To which I replied (probably a LB - I don't care, it's my <I>line in the sand</I>) "I'm sorry. I WILL NOT call you at 'someone else's house' and have them HAND MY H THE PHONE." I told him I would call SS again and have him contact him, like we did today. He said that was OK.<P> Thank everyone for their prayers, it really DOES work! And so does MB. My M *is* going to be restored. Believe, people. Believe God and His promises.<P>Praise The Lord!<P>Lupo

Dear Lupo I am so happy for you. You are a very strong woman. I wish I had your strength. I'm sure he will call you just to make sure things are okay. You've had a chance to really Plan A would your normal response be to freak out on him when he called after this long of no communication? Good luck Lupo I wish you the vey best and I will continue to pray for you.<BR>cybil

<P>Good job Lupolady! Now keep it up, be patient, dont push.<BR>Lora

lupolady:<P>I'm so very glad for you! Keep up your Plan A... and take it one day at a time... Way to go!<P>zen

Hi L,<P>Just getting on board this morning. It is my anniversary but not feeling real joyful. Anyway, reading your post made me feel happier. I am glad he was there to show care for you. When it all comes down, that lust stuff is just stuff and it is care and concern that are part of real love. <P>Take care and hope you don't sustain too much damage from those pipes. Let us know (what you can and want) about your procedure. I have to undergo something also in the near future, gonna check on it next week. So I'll be watching for you!!! <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

Lupo!!!! I'm soooooo happy!!!!! <P>Yay! That's wonderful! <P>wow, an actual phone conversation, and he's concerned about you. whew!!!<P>Prayers going up for contiued foglifting..... <P>hang in there, lady!<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Really great news, Lupo!<P>I'm so happy you finally got to talk with him. The "line in the sand" decision is best I think. I too would not be able to call and talk with my H knowing the OW is sitting there listening to his side of the convo. <P>Wow! 12 weeks. Such a long time, must have been agonizing for you. I don't know for sure, but I think Lora holds the record for no contact from her H aft seperation, I think it was 5 or 6 mos, and she was in Plan A still. At first it was somewhat a relief to not hear from him aft he left because she was Plan Aing for a year with him home and the A in her face 24/7. But after a month or so she started to miss him.<P>I wish you the best, Hon. Stay strong and keep posting.<P>Jo

<BR><B>cybil:</B> Thanks for your encouragement. I am not this strong. This "situation" has been the hardest thing I have ever done! Yes, my normal reaction would have been to LB ALL over him!! Where have you been?!? HOW DARE YOU leave me with this mess?!?!?! etc. so this is major difference for me. And as I said, I am NOT a crier! I cried on the phone for 30 minutes! Plus the letters I have been writing, which have been very kind, and sweet, always worried about him, telling him I'm praying for him, etc.<P><B>Lora,</B> Yes!! Don't push!! This IS the hardest....now that I've talked with him, I want to talk w/him again TODAY!! I MISS MY H.....<P><B>Zen</B> Thanks for the positive feedback. Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. Got it! <P><B>Oh, Orchid,</B> You know I CARE when you are down. Please don't stay there too long...'k? <BR>You know, it's weird, but I just didn't get a sense that there's anything "going on" between them. I mean, he identified himself on the phone as my "HUSBAND" - and some of the stuff he said....I don't know. Maybe reading too much into this. I talked to a counselor here, a dear friend who is a counselor by trade, but now retired, and she has counselled me all summer. She said to me, "This sounds more like he is a "Boarder" in her house than a "relationship." I kinda sensed that too. But, don't worry, I'm not believing it for a minute! I just can't see where any part of this "fits the script" of the typical WS. (I mean the phone conversation - the REST of his actions sure do!)!<BR>Really, Orchid, the "procedure" is just a yearly check-up. It's not a major deal, in terms of I don't think they will find anything wrong. Just that it's uncomfortable, and I DON"T want to do it alone!!! (I really don't want to do it at all, and certainly NOT without my H!!)<P><B>Resilient:</B> Ya, well, when I was a kid, my parents went through a thing like this. I remember the day my mom hauled my sister and myself to where my dad was living w/OW, it was UGLY.....the ensuing hours of fighting and car chasing was ugly too. I NEVER want to appear to be a shrew like that, or lose my dignity to that point. I have always felt that I would NOT lower myself to approach OW if I found myself in a similar situation. That's why I have a line in the sand. I know how far I will allow MYSELF to get dragged into their little world, and how much I won't. I don't know if she was listening or not. Don't care, doesn't matter. I doubt it, him calling himself "My H" - HA!! If she was, WHAT A LB!!!!<P><B>Faith</B> - Dear Sister. What can I say???? Your prayers are much comfort to me. Your FAITH is much comfort to me!! Thank you, thank you!! <BR>I have always LOVED your sig. line, it makes me feel better every time I read it. Keep believing, Faith. It IS going to happen, for ALL of us!!<P>Thank you all, soooo much, for replying, and being happy with me. I really dont' know what I would do without all this support. I KNOW I would have destroyed any hope of my M being restored by now!! This place is truly God-inspired.<P>Lupo