She says she doesn;t love me any more. She is in love with another man whom she feels is her soul mate. The only reason she is living with me is because neither of us can afford to go out and get an apartment. Last night she pretty mich went on a "date" with people from work, I think this sick relationship is finding acceptance in her "work gang" He is in process of divorcing.<P>I love her, I'm plan Aing my but off, but at times like this I feel like whats the point. I feel like she is out there in the public making me look like an [censored].<P>Im at a loss, I do want to continue Plan A but I need someone to give me some encouragement, maybe a success story. <P>This group is always so helpful. Thank you all so much. Let's keep praying for each other. I'm so sorry that this is happening to so many people.

She is saying things that many of those thick in the fog say. Typical WS "fogspeak". (Personally, the whole soulmate thing makes me crazy...)<P>How recently was DDay? How long has the affair been going on? Have you expressed to her your feelings?? A little more info may be helpful.<P>Have you tried any of the reading materials? Surviving an Affair by Dr. Harley of course is highly recommended and I liked AFter the Affair by Janis Abrams Spring. Sometimes reading helps you get a clearer idea on how to handle things.<P>

Dear Havachance,<BR> I was just discussing with my sister how it feels like I am holding up a very heavy weight and sometimes I have help but sometimes I'm alone and I start to panic and look desperately for someone to help hold up this weight. <BR> I want you to know I understand exactly what you are feeling right now. H went off this weekend to be with OW, our employee. The whole company knows about it, she was bragging. As someone on these boards so eloquently states, "Plan A, Plan A, Plan A!" He is due to spend the day with us tomorrow and that is what I will be doing. I will think of you and also imagine our special places in heaven for having done what we are attempting to do. <BR>Meanwhile, yes I will be praying that God will send His angels to surround you and give you peace in knowing that you are never really alone. We here are all with you.<P>------------------<BR>Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. Romans 12:12

Hi, <BR>Can't vouch for success yet but headed in that direction. Can't make firm plans with these WS in a healing mode. 2 steps forward 1 back sort of thing. <P>Anyway, here is my piece. ea Aug 00, pa Sept 00, d/d Nov 00, out of the house 12/31/00, back forth 3 times. 1 jail episode, liveed with ow 10 days, at home (says to stay) almost 3 weeks. <P>All that talk from your W is just jibberish at this point. I finally got tired of his babble and told hiim to let me know when he could talk in a reasonable manner - one that made sense. That stopped him for a while. Then he tried (would practice with ow but since she was just a Psyco Babble anyway his script with her didn't hold water when faced with realistic normal people who don't speak fogese). So after a few disenchanted sessions of fogese verbage vs plain english (even my son could understand), H came to realize that the A was not what he wanted. Much to OWs dismay he told her bye and though she keeps calling, it is getting less and less. <P>So what does this mean? Well, listening to the babble is painful. Unless you have a degree in fogese, you will be confused, frustrated and hurt. What to do? Sometimes, just say ok. Don't explain what ok means, but when you can just say ok. These fogese persons easily get confused when you agree, they want you to pick a fight. So don't. This ticked off the OW big time. She warned H that I was up to something because I was acting cool and business like. Hmmmph... I was just plain ol tired of their stupid games and decided not to fan OW's ego trip (she wanted to flip my switches) and just ignore her. It helped that H was out of the home. Plan B was much easier to handle then but it was still hard. <P>I missed H and wanted to communicate with him, I had to slap myself silly to hold me back and even then did not do a good job. But it was enough to make H think that I might actually leave him. Ooooh.... for all his anger, he did not want that. Go figure, now does that make sense? Well all that did was make OW angry. So 2 angry 'beavers'. Hm...... I stepped off that rollercoaster ride and let her have at him. Guess what, she was not that inviting after all instead he started to see the mean and selfish side of her. The REAL controller. When she thought he was in her grip she let him have it. When she thought she was losing him she changed. You know like Dr Jekyl and Mz Hyde. Now you know where the name Psyco Babble comes from. <P>Now he is home making attempts to meet our needs, not just me but his son as well. See this is a package deal. NO shortcuts here. Took a while, he was stubborn and dumb. Hung around with someone even more stubborn and psyco. You know something we never want to happen to our children. Bad association kind of thing and breaking free from it was hard and still is. <P>Hope this helps. Now you can see why I am not ready to call it recovery yet. <P>Take Care, <BR>L.<P><BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Orchid:<BR><B>Well, listening to the babble is painful. Unless you have a degree in fogese, you will be confused, frustrated and hurt. What to do? Sometimes, just say ok. Don't explain what ok means, but when you can just say ok. These fogese persons easily get confused when you agree, they want you to pick a fight. <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>LOLOL, Orchid, I just love the terminology you use! You always hit it right on the head, hahaa!<P>