Sorry to see you're still having to deal with Ms Psychobabble! <P>Just wanted to say I'm still around! H is still in our home though we barely speak a word. He has put me thru so much! I am in individual therapy & just started antidepressants (Effexor). I already notice it controls those racing autmatic thoughts that go thru a persons head some. I still cry at times & am very sad & lonely but the emotions are evening out some. <P>I stopped trying so much. It hurts not to, but He didnt appreciate anything so why bother! He lays around the house like a slug in front of the tv like a zombie. Sleeps in front of tv too. Still tells me leave him alone. Wears the same clothes more than 1 day etc. Jeepers! Acts like a different person at work. Probably telling everyone that the fault is mine & that I am to blame for his "stress". Actually, he has had a few appts with a therapist I think. (individually for himself). So there has not been much yelling. He still says he feels nothing for me & wants to move out. Blah, blah, blah. Yet he says hes keeping an open mind about our marriage!! Its torture trying not to be upset.<P>He is still spending ALOT of time with that woman at work. Denies telling her personal stuff, up the wazoo but she is in his office CONSTANTLY for hrs at a time. I went to ask him a ? one day & would not speak until she left his office first. As soon as I left, Zoom she was back in there. I really feel like he acts as if he has something to hide. She stands so close to him, she was practically in his lap.He screamed & yelled & turned into exorcist that he was doing "nothing wrong" & that I was at fault "spying" & "following" him (I never did). But their behaviour continues. I am trusting him less & less. It really looks like something fishy is going on. <P>So I am trying to tough it out, to see if he will come out of whatever "fog" he is in. I hope he does not hide his feelings from his therapist & that something good will come of that. I try to stay out of his way. He doesnt seem to care at all. I have been home sick with a bad cold & he never asked about how was I feeling - nothing! (In the past he got me a get well card & phoned me to see if I needed him to bring me anything or come home etc.) I only heard from him now pushing me to apply for another job 1hr before the deadline. I guess they had a good old get together while I was gone for 3 days. Trying to get rid of me now!! <P>Funny thing is we move to a new building in October with only cubicles & no walls or doors! They have placed him catty corner to me!!! (we are in different sections & I dont think he has realized where his new ofc will be). Ha Ha. She will have to pass both her own & his supervisors offices to go to his office then. I will be right across the way too!! Even if she tries to sneak the long way around, she will have to pass me!! Ha Ha! I wonder if the bosses know more than I do & planned it that way?? But I am having difficulties with my job (change of supervisors 2X who dont understand what I do). I do need to change. I missed out on a job I was a top candidate for & I really wanted it. But someone else got it. But thinking of our future cubicle locations is kind of fun!<P>I dont feel like doing much for myself, but I putz around the stores etc. & have been spending more time at 1 friends house. I was still going to the gym in the pm. I have lost 24lbs since all this started in March/April. I still have not let go of this marriage. I hope it can be saved still. But I think the rollercoaster is on the ground these days (thankfully). <P>Though I hate this OW I am trying to ignore her & tell myself she'll get her deceit & manipulation & selfishness backfired in her own face someday!! I heard her own marriage sucks! I want her to hurt as much as I have! This is my current challenge. Not to waste a second of my time thinking of her & him & whats being said or done. GRRR. Its tough. But I am doing better, I swear! <P>Here's to us!! Hang in there!<p>[This message has been edited by cantletgo (edited August 18, 2001).]

Hi clg,<P>You have been quiet lately. Sounds like it is still roaring over there. Well maybe the Oct move will have better results. As a manager, I am concerned when an employee is not productive. We managers have our ways of checking up on employees. Hm....... controlling, sneaky? Call it what you like, it is our job to make sure the department runs smoothly and gets the job done. <P>Family life is similar, there needs to be a healthy respect for each other. I tell my staff, I really don't want to have an adverse reaction to them so if they would just do their part, I can do mine and all our jobs will be easier. I have a great staff and for the most part it has been ok. Now if that could also be implemented at home. You know be kind and considerate of others. The follow the golden rule advice and remember the to greatest commandments: Love God and love your neighbor. Not to be taken out of context by the WS and Ops of this world. But true neighborly love would not allow a place for the devil and his bag of A tricks. <P>For you Clg, hang tight. Your H sounds like he is still in the fog (they hate that word) but you are progessing. Good. Continue to persevere. <P>I am glad to hear from you. Please keep in touch.<BR>Vent here anytime. Me, I've made up my mind that I choose not to have OW in my life. Getting there. Finally saw what she looks like, not too ugly but coupled with her known personality she could run for dragon queen..... LOL. <P><BR>Take Care, <BR>L.<p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited August 18, 2001).]