I posted here a couple of weeks ago. My story is of my wifes EA over the internet. The horrible part is last month I underwent 2 heart surgeries due to complications and my wife spent the mornings chatting with her friend about themselves as well as concern for me while I was near death in intensive care. I have tried a Plan A approach but she outright denies anything and refuses to talk. To me a plan B sounds good but after this entire experience I have come to a new realization. I do not want to be with her. Alot of people here try to despertly save the unsavable or save something that is not meant to be for various reasons. I was in another type of fog. The fog of having the ideal wife and marriage. I think the fog has lifted and I see my wife as who she really is and I do not want any more. I deserve better.

Your wife is insensitive to you totally and you should become more withdrawn towards her until she notices<BR>it and come to you on your terms and askes what is<BR>wrong <P>You should withdraw some of her priveledges and become<BR>busy and allow her to do some thinking so that her<BR>feelings can become alive in her because she has<BR>become slightly dead towards you<P>Personally it sounds like she spends too much time away from home and should be more at home concerned with you as she should treat you like number one<P>Carol<BR>

I know exactly how you feel, Rich. I felt this way after I caught my husband carrying on internet affairs. I just didn't feel the same about him anymore and didn't think I could love that kind of man. I don't respect people like that and it's hard for me to love someone with a low character. I just wanted out...........period. <P>I made plans to move and was setting up interviews and planning on an apt hunting trip when he begged me to stay. He was totally honest and offered to go into counseling. I told him then that I didn't hold much hope for us because of my feelings but I agreed to give it a try. We went to counseling for awhile and it helped alot - I am starting to love him again. But he has had to prove himself to me becasue I won't tolerate one damn thing. If I even had a hint that something was going on, I would be gone. He has been clean as a whistle and a model, adoring husband ever since Oct so it is going well so far. And I know he has been clean because I check up on him every once and awhile. I have checked his emails and web history for some time and now I have spy software on his computer. I know of 2 occasions where his old internet girlfriends have tried to contact him and he didn't even read the emails, he just deleted them. He also changed his AOL profile to this:<P><B>XXXXX<BR>Location: XXXXX tho I long for XXXXXX where I met my Beautiful wife<BR>Sex: Male<BR>Marital Status: Very Married to the best<BR>Hobbies: Teasing my wife ( who is from KANSAS) , can anbody tell me what comes from Kansas?<BR>Occupation: Working my butt off.<BR>Personal Quote: I have made lots of mistakes in my life and will probally make some more, But know this, Dana, you are the best thing that ever has happened to me and I will never let you down again. I love you my dear.</B><P>That makes it pretty clear to his old girlfriends that he is committed to me. I think that my determination to leave really shook him up and made him see the error of his ways.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Dana114 (edited August 19, 2001).]