Ok, my usual 2 cents, ya know how I love to give opinions, use at your own risk. The idea of a card is ok, but the giving falls into that grey area of (as you put it) mushiness. IMO mushy is decidely not good at these times. It is complex, we know you "think" you love us, why else would you stick around. But it "feels" like you need us for your own benefit. Not in a bad way necessarily, just the way humans are. We have decided we don't need you, but we still care about you...yada yada yada. We know you know we care, so when you start acting needy, or mushy, or lovey instead of making us feel good toward you (warm fuzzies), it triggers defensive feelings instead....like you are trying to trick us into feeling guilty....such bums if we reject your overtures, but feeling pulled in if we accept them. So IMO you stay away from most of this stuff, just a little bit of love you's seems to be the best.<P>re your card, it was very nice, but feels (to me) uncomfortable. No question writing a card under these circumstances is a challenge, you are smart, and know your husband, do what you think best of course. One thing I do feel about men (and me in spades) is we are hardwired to feel protective about woman, and it is useful to let us know that, even as ws. So women who do not appear to self-sufficient (in a primal sense), but not needy either(a post on that later), can have an affect. What would appeal to me is some verbage that says in effect two things<P>1. That you want him to be happy in whatever way he needs to be (meaning with or without you). So he knows up front you are not trying to work on his guilt. Must be sincere.<P>2. That you feel (though you will survive and prosper) unsafe, and scared when he is not in your life to protect you (most emphasis), and the family (less emphasis). <P>Do ya get it?<P>
