Hi to all, for those of you who know my story, well he worked all day all night on Friday or so he says. He tells me that these 3 shifts he worked are not on the same payweek,and being that he worked for someone they allowed it. Who knows I don't have the courage or strengh to call his captain because I know what it will lead to, I promise if it happens again I may not have a choice. well Saturday he slept, and then went to work, came home at 2:00 am I didn't hear him, the one night I sleep he comes home, he says he was up until 4:00 am playing cards on the computer.But who knows I sure hope he is not talking to her on the computer, I have know way of knowing and no I don't want the computer cop to see what he is doing its to painful the truth will come out. Well anyway Sunday he was very cold and angry and just seemed like he was unhappy being with us, I confronted him calmly and said it seems like something is bothering you he says no, so I say if your that un happy then leave why do you stay, he says well I guess I am not happy, Here we go again in limbo!I have been in limbo for over a year I am sick of it, sometimes I really wish he would leave. I need some peace of mind. he says he would, then he says well I can't leave the kids money is tight etc.. Is this typical of WS in the fog? Now we are back to he leaving again this is a roller coaster ride I want off!!!Sorry for the venting but I am so frustrated I wish he would go for help but he refuses. Thanks everyone Sally

Hi sally im on that roller coaster right beside you for last 14 months we have been apart for 3 weeks to give him space to work things out where is your story posted??<P>------------------<BR>lizzle<BR>The hardest thing to do is watch the person you love love someone else

Hi Lizzle, my story is posted as Can anyone help... the pain of an affair. page 2or3 of the general questions, so sorry your on the same roller coaster ride what is your story? and where is it on the MB site? Love Sally

I believe you are in plan A - so just stick with it. He'll go through these moments at times. Is he still in contact with OW? I wouldn't approach with the "why don't you leave" question during this time. I would just let him know that you are there for him. YES it is damn hard - but if you are committed to plan A then stick to it. Definitely come here to vent and spew!!<BR>You're safe here

Hi Alberta, Thanks for your reply, he says he is not in contact with OW, but I guess he could be how would I know I mean I want to believe him but theres always doubt, its difficult to trust him right now the only way is snooping which I do at times and some things are questionable but I don't want to ask him I want to believe him. I guess it was wrong for me to ask him to leave,but as you know after a long year living like this the BS starts wanting out, don't get me wrong I would love to work this out, but it really seems hopeless when only the BS wants to work at it. I will continue with planA its only been a few days that I have been working on it, I told him I was here for him if he needed to talk, he really seems like he needs to talk today but I guess not to me, Thanks Sally

Hi Sally,<P>You say that he has told you that he is not in contact with OW, but you instinctively know that something is very wrong. Does he act like someone who is telling the truth? My point is this: I know that when I suspected something was up with my H, I wanted to believe that he was innocent so bad that I would believe his words even when they DID NOT MATCH HIS ACTIONS. Much easier to not have to take action or confront someone you know is lying to you. Nor are honest, sincere people cold, angry and distant. <P>You also mentioned that you have been on Plan A for a year to no avail. Would it be the right time to shift gears and move into Plan B in order to get some results here? How much longer can you go on in a limbo-like state worrying yourself sick about whether or not he is really at work and knocking yourself out trying to believe the unbelievable? [I'm sorry but the shift thing with "some" of the shift going on next pay period just doesn't work] You must know that something is very wrong here, honey. <P>

Hi Dana114, Thanks for your reply, I have only been doing plan A for 2 days I only found out about OW 3 weeks ago, I have been living in limbo for a year because July 2000 was when he started to tell my that he was not happy and he wanted a seperation, I never thought that he was seeing someone else, I truly believed him for that whole year, until I found out from an e-mail he recieved from OW so I must stick with planA for more time, I realize something is very wrong I know the shift work thing is fishy, I really don't know what else to do or say to him right now because he is still in fog and I have 3 children to be concerned about so I will take one day at a time and pray, thanks for your concern Sally

Hi Sad Sally sorry ive taken so long to reply my story is in recovery under heartbroken, wrong place i know but it was my first time on and didint realise.<BR>Hope things are not to bad with you, take care<P>------------------<BR>lizzle<BR>The hardest thing to do is watch the person you love love someone else