Hi Cali-<BR>I hope you don't mind me busting in on you like this. I had been wanting to touch base with for some time but as I don't have a computer at home and only use the one at work, it isn;t very often that an ICU nurse can sit down to "chat"<P>I read in a past post that your H is Afican-American. So is mine. I was wondering if you felt like you have to "prove " yourself more in this situation because of your inter-racial marriage?? I kinda do. I don't want people to look at us and think or say "of course it was going to happen -- he's black!"<P>Ouu MC actually asked me if I felt that H strayed because of a number of reasons one of them being his race. I actually started crying. Of course then he thought there was some serious race related issues. i told him that its not that but if people are going to "persecute" my H it should be because of A and what it did to me not because he is black. <P>I think I read that you have kids? How old are they? Do you think differently about the future because of them? If I think negatively (which I try not to do)its scary just because you never know how people will react to biracial children. Especially a single mom with them. You know how you can never predict society. <P>I have two girls. 5 and 3 this month. They are beautiful,(of course I'm biased!!!)<P>I hope you don't think I'm butting in on something that may be too private. I was just wondering. -KID

I will admit to a fleeting thought here or there about that topic...race has never been an issue between us and I think that my family has not only reconciled to it...but loved him...<P>I have had thoughts of what will other men think...do I just date black men? I don't know about you, but my H was my first and only...I never even had a 'real' relationship in high school or college...there was one guy, but it never developed past friendship...anyway...I hope it never comes to that...H has been sticking around a lot lately...<P>I have three boys 8, 5 1/2 and 2...there are also beautiful...H and I get stopped by strangers on the street telling us how gorgeous the boys are ...<P>Where are you from? We are from Southern California and attitudes here are much more relaxed...there are many, many mixed marriages and biracial children so as long as we stay here I am comfortable...it has played a part in whether or not we move and to where...<P>I would love to converse w/ you about biracial nature of marriage...my email address is InShockInCali@excite.com...just in case you'd rather talk about it 'privately.'<P>Cali<P><P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

We live in Pennsylvania. It is somewhat diverse here too. I am not from here though. I am from Iowa. Cornfields USA. So if anything did happen I would probably move closer to home. Then of course I think would I want to take my kids away from dad and the black heritage that only he and his family can give. But like I said, I try not to think like that. <P>My H is the only black man that I've dated. I'm with you on the whole if need be do you only date black or what. We just have be strong and tell ourselves that we aren't going to have to deal with that. <P>I have been working on this response forever. I don't know why these people think I'm here to save their lives!!(smile!!)<P>We also have been stopped about the girls. Man, too bad we aren't closer we could get them all together!!!<P>My H is still very foggy. We have been married for 7years and (celbrated our 7th 2 weeks after he told me about A). He had started being a real bear around the house and snapping out at me and the girls and everything was very tense. He stopped eating and wasn't sleeping. Turns out thats when he was wanting to tell me. Soooo--he says the usual-I love you but I'm not in love with you. Need to see if I miss you. There is no intamacy--yada yada yada!!!<P>We have been seeing MC alone and together. So I give him alotof credit as far as telling me and agreeing to counseling. Says A is over but there are still feelings there that he is dealing with. He is home but very busy with work. He is also a very social person so that takes up some time. He isn't 100% commited to the marriage yet but I think his feelings are better than when he first told me. I just have to keep Aing and keep the faith. <P>My 12 hour shift is about over and things are getting busya round me. I guess my co-workers want me working and not "chatting"(smile!) I am here again tomorrow so maybe I'll catch up with you again. Would love to "talk" via e-mail but the hospital cut out all acess to outside mail. I have a hotmail acct but only access rarely.<P>I think it was you that was having the anniversary. I hope that all goes well and is better than mine was. Keep smiling!!---K<P>