Okay - so I really wasn't going to play, but in the end I couldn't resist. The triggers are fading in intensity - really! <P>The name Trish<BR>The nickname Baby(wouldn't you know just about every stupid song on the radio uses that "name" - yukkkkk)<BR>Navel Piercing<BR>Eddie Bauer<BR>Lonestar and their stupid, stupid, STUPID song "Amazed"<BR>A certain cold Canadian city<BR>A certain small town in a northern US state<BR>Yahoo<P>There - actually that felt good!!<p>[This message has been edited by Alberta (edited August 20, 2001).]

Okay - so I think I know why I was initially reluctant to post about the triggers - cause sometimes what you think about happens. You know that "stupid, stupid, STUPID" song I was talking about it? Haven't heard it in AGES!<P>Two separate grocery stores, two separate days (Thursday and today) they had THAT song playing in the speakers. I never hummed so loudly while picking through the romaine lettuce let me tell you. Sheesh!!!

Those triggers I think will always be there unless we get hypnotized to exorcise them ... here are mine:<P>Silver Nissan Pathfinders<BR>Sugar Ray music<BR>Halloween<BR>Flamingos (she has a tatoo)<BR>Applebee's (she and I used to hang out there)<BR>Football (she liked it, I didn't, he did, rest history)<BR>The phrase "you've got to get over this!" (from her, friends, thinking I was a fool for even thinking anything was going on)<BR>

Orchid wrote:<BR>"Dave Koz is a bay area resident and I like him but OW tried to give H tickets to his Jazz festival concert this weekend (on your anniversary no less). She thinks his music is special for them, news to you OW, H & I used to like all of that beofre you, you scum bag.... "<P>Word Orchid! ... tell us how you REALLY feel about OW. LMAO!!!!<P>I could tell you were gettin P/O'd L, you made a typo when you typed that (beofre), and you rarely make typos. <P>Love you,<BR>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 21, 2001).]

Ok Jo, <P>Busted..... Oh, I make a lot of typos, just try to catch them, not always successful especially when (yep, you got it) when trying to vent to OW. Wonder how it would have came out if I said it? LOL!!!!! You know I have never said a bad word (cuss word) to her. She can't say the same, it is too much a part of her everyday language. Sheesh! <P>L.

It's too bad these wonderful artists wind up on someone's sh*t list - like this . . . TOO bad we bash them, it really wasn't their fault . . . I really feel sorry for them . . . <P>thanks for being there all . . . <P>books of postage stamps - it use to make me crazy thinking he was sending her the cards (I found in a plastic bag in his briefcase). A few weeks after we moved across country, he brought me the cards - all sliced up - he'd used the paper cutter to slice the cards. He tossed them on the bed one morning in the bag - surprised the hell out of me. He never did explain in too much detail what this meant - I guess he was telling me that he was destroying the cards, so they wouldn't be mailed. That is why when I found the receipt to more cards it tore me up. He bought the cards in Nov, if memory serves me correct, but they are for me, but to this day, I still haven't received one of them. He says he's bought them hoping the feelings will return so he can give them to me. <P>Isn't this a pickle?<P>I buy the same type of relationship cards - hey - they are good - just sorry he had to be in such a passion to buy them for her - boy that was some $$ down the drain.

1. Walking into my (former) bedroom to get clothes in the morning, after sleeping on the couch<P>2. A state park where they held hands on the beach<P>3. The local beach where they had sex in her car<P>4. Walking by her former house which is right behind ours<P>5. Seeing her ex H almost every day<P>6. Seeing mutual friends<P>7. Going to certain stores where we used to shop together<P>8. Even thinking anything about sex<P>9. Sewing, we used to do this together<P>10. Sometimes just getting up in the morning is trigger enough

Okay here's mine:<P>Even though I love their music my number one trigger is the DIXIE CHICKS--OW reminds me of the lead singer.<P>Neighborhood kids--she hung out with on the street by our house.<P>The word SKANK<P>Bright Red Lipstick.<P>Tongue piercings<P>Profanity<P>Yeah, that's right she was a real work of art.

- Hearing her typing away on the computer<BR>- Anything to do with AOL<BR>- Movies with infidelity in it - <B>big time!</B><BR>- Going to the city where she met him. I can see it in her eyes when we reach a place that is special to them.<BR>- King's Supermarket. ok, this one is going to make me cry, right now, at work. This was our first supermarket we went to after we got married. We had so much fun, just being a new couple, and doing "married stuff" like shopping for groceries. We moved away from that area, but she met him there, and went there with him several times. I feel like she betrayed one of our memories and I don't know if I can ever forgive her for that.<P>I had more, but now I can't think of them

Triggers:<P>1) Music by BBMak, Joe, and Savage Garden (all the music that OM told W reminds him of her)<P>2) Driving by hotels that I know he has stayed at<P>3) Driving by a restaurant that I know they ate at - used to be one of my favorite restaurants<P>4) Seeing or doing something that reminds me of when things were good - B4 OM entered our lives<P>5) Just plain seeing his name on anything<P>6) I hope like hell that I will not be completely bothered at the MB Weekend. W visited OM at the same hotel the last time they saw each other.<P>S&C<p>[This message has been edited by sadandconfused (edited August 22, 2001).]

Ws failure to respond:<BR>verbally, sexually, physically<P>John Gottman refers to "turning away" as the behavior most likely to destroy a marriage.<BR>r

My triggers from the affair:<P>Coffee - she started drinking it about the same time she met him.<BR>Chili - he makes a non Texas traditional bowl of chili with beans.<BR>Orange smoothies - he made them for her.<BR>Darts - he plays on tournments.<BR>Bars - so many that they have been to.<BR>Honda Crx - his first 'love machine'.<BR>Acura Legend - his current bucket.<BR>Berets - he wears them to cover his balding head.<BR>Hairy chests - his is/was.<BR>Muscles - he flaunts his.<BR>Structure Clothing - his favorite attire.<BR>Poetry - his favorite form of manipulation.<BR>Creed - his favorite group.<BR>Magic Markers - he tattooed her body with it sent her home that way.<BR>Hickies - the way he marks his 'tree'.<BR>Willow Trees - He wrote her poems about them.<BR>Our car - he drove it, wrecked it and steamed the windows in it.<BR>Lousiana - ANYONE and ANYTHING having to do with that state..which he is from.<BR>Gary - his name as well as my FIL's.<BR>Lingerie Stores - he hung out at there to see her.<BR>Tanning saloon's - she and he both tanned at one.<BR>The beach - a weekend they spent there.<BR>Marlboro Menthol - his *uss* boy smokes.<BR>Our last home - he ruined my memories from there.<BR>Our last community - same as above.<BR>The west side of Town - same as above.<BR>Downtown - visits to the DA and courthouse.<BR>The east side of Town - his visits here to see the baby.<BR>Nipple rings - he's got them.<BR>Smilie faces - Tattoo on his left ankle.<BR>Tattoos - jailhouse tats especially the one with my wifes name on his right ankle.<BR>Jack in the box - His favorite thing to eat.<BR>Diamond Studded earrings - yep... in his right ear<BR>Blonde dyed hair on Men - his is.<BR>Crawfish - He can't afford Lobster.. so this is what he eats.<BR>Jocks and Athletes - This ones a no brainer.<BR>Green anything - his favorite color.<BR>Tents - marked his tree all weekend long.<BR>Fishing - He thinks that he's a fisherman.<BR>Houston - pretty much wrapps it up.<BR>Dallas - have my reasons also.<P>This post.. - to many triggers here :*(<P>Many more to add.. maybe later.. tired and trigged out now.<P>------------------<BR>Semper,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' O-Town

Add one more trigger:<BR>Eddie Bauer stores - I was shopping today, started to walk by and decided to actually go in, you know, to "overcome".<BR>However, started feeling nauseous and short of breath so off I went. <sigh> I tried.

Ick, I hate triggers!!! Here are some of mine...<P>* Hispanic women (yep, she is).<BR>* Mexican food, Margarritta, etc.<BR>* Any of the songs that were on the CD that he made for her<BR>* The toys that she gave to my kids the past 2 years for birthdays & Christmas.<BR>* The playground she took my kids to.<BR>* The movie she took my daughter to<BR>* Actually, every movie has something to trigger my mind!!!<BR>* My H going to work<BR>* My H's nextel pager/phone<BR>* Trailerparks<BR>* Airplanes<P>Unfortunately, there are sooo many triggers every day!<P>Heck

Hope you don't mind me joining in, I'm usually over in D/D.<P>Here's mine:<P>* Mozambican women (Yep to that)<BR> <BR>* A certain motel in town which I have to drive by five days a week,<P>* REM songs (he used to come home after being with her and play them)<P>* Adultery jokes, songs and movies<P>* "I miss Daddy"<P>* Airplanes flying over...I'll be on one soon<P>* Overseas Work contracts<P>* The smell of his aftershave<P>* People who have just started a new relationship, and never shut up about it!!!!<P>* Couples on the street<P>* Kids with their dads<P>* Pool halls (he met 1st one there)<P>* theatre groups ( he nmet 2nd one there)<P>* bank statements<P>Well, that's not all, but I'll stop now.<P>

my triggers.....<BR>Monday<BR>Tuesday<BR>Wednesday<BR>Thursday<BR>Friday<BR>Saturday<BR>Sunday<BR>that's all i can think of at the moment!