I know I am probally going to catch hell of this from all the women. But i really mean no disrespect. this is just something i want everyones opinion on.<P>Do you believe there is a double standard when it come to men cheating and women cheating.<P>I have heard women cheat mainly cause they are not getting the "love" they want.So it is ok for them to find that love.<BR>And men cheat cause the want sex, and they are wrong for that.<BR>I personally think that is a bunch of crap.<BR>You can turn on any daytime talk show(i know not a good idea LOL)and see women being praised for cheating on their husbands. and husbands being yelled and cussed for cheating.<BR>I think women can be swept up in the sex issuse just as much as men.<P>Ok now let me have it women...LOL<BR>I have my armor on. <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

My H's affair was mostly emotional for a long time. Looking back, I think he was 'in love' with her (my best friend) for at least 6 months before he told her. It didn't get physical right away, and he said the sex was really bad. During this time, he also told our best friend that he'd never have to look outside of our marriage for sex as he had great sex at home. I've stopped trying to figure it out as it will never make sense to me!

I have seen that double standard in some circles of women but most women that I associate with are not that lame, thankfully. [I try to hang with the thinkin' gals] There seems to be a contingent of women out there who treat women as if they are not equals, ie: "victims" at the hands of mean old men, therefore, they are not responsible for any evil they commit. They want all the benefits offered in society, but NONE of the responsibility. It's a shame that this viewpoint is out there because it simply encourages some to view women as less than equal when they act as victims and deny accountability for their actions. And it infuriates me for young girls to be taught this deplorable worldview.

OK OK BioMan where are you getting these stats from?<P>i would agree that men mainly cheat for sex and women mainly cheat for love but what about those WH's that have EA's with no sex? or what about those women that Have PA's with no emotional attatchment?<BR>just saying dont generalize here<P>also I would like to see this talk show that praises women for having affairs........... that crap if i ever heard it what are you watching? the only time ive seen a women get praised for having an affair was on Jerry Springer and the woman was cheating with another women and the audience started chanting "We Love Lesbians" but thats about it.<BR>and personally Jerry Springer shows arent normal anyhow.<BR>

This may be so for the general public, but the people here at MB have unfortunatly become more educated on this issue. I now know better. <P>The OW's H in my situation had poor sex drive,so she looked for that EN in my H.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LuvOnTheRox:<BR><B>OK OK BioMan where are you getting these stats from?<P>i would agree that men mainly cheat for sex and women mainly cheat for love but what about those WH's that have EA's with no sex? or what about those women that Have PA's with no emotional attatchment?<BR>just saying dont generalize here<P>also I would like to see this talk show that praises women for having affairs........... that crap if i ever heard it what are you watching? the only time ive seen a women get praised for having an affair was on Jerry Springer and the woman was cheating with another women and the audience started chanting "We Love Lesbians" but thats about it.<BR>and personally Jerry Springer shows arent normal anyhow.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I got an idea...how about you look at what i wrote again and tell me where I said anything about stats i have???<BR>Then write me back? K?<P>thank you come again <BR><P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

If you read other books about affairs, there are different types of affairs...<P>so I don't see the issue as in terms of for love or for sex...IMHO, I think it goes a lot deeper than that...<P>In terms of my H, when we had sex it was great...he even told OW that sex with me wasn't the problem...after d-day, OUR sex life became even more active...For him it was the need to be respected, admired and listened to...something he felt he wasn't getting from me...<P>I think, for her, sex is an issue...but I don't know how or why...just stuff my H as alluded to...<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Personally, I don't believe there is a double-standard because adulterers are all looked down upon, regardless. I think it all boils down to sex, with the right temptation. EAs have great potential to turn into PAs eventually, it seems?<P>I think if the wandering woman "felt" more love from her hubby, she would probably be giving it up more often, and if husbands "felt" more of whatever they needed from their wives, they would probably be drawn toward their wives rather than to someone else outside of the marriage.<P>Some societies and religions encourage men to have more than one wife which could promote a sort of double-standard. I don't believe God designed marriage (nor vaginas) for more than one partner.<P>Sometimes we give our spouses what WE need instead of giving them what THEY need, so Harley's questionnaires are a great start to discovering what our partner's specific needs are in order to recover from an affair, or as in my case, trying to prevent one.