Question that maybe some of you are trying to find answer to, maybe some have already found it.<P>My W and I, are working on trying to recover from both of our A's, going to counseling, communicating, spending quality time together.<BR>I feel all of the love that I used to feel for her, its taken time, but it is there and it is stronger than I remember it being before. She however doesn't feel anything for me right now, romantically. The counselor says she can and she will if she is willing, if she gives it time. <P>Can that romance return...can she feel those things for me again? <BR>Is there anything I can do to help?<BR>

I am wondering, is your W depressed? When my H has been depressed, he says in counseling he doesn't love me. Then months later he can't remember feeling that way. The counselor says that's normal, when you're depressed you don't love yourself so you can't love anyone else.<P>It may take her time to get her feelings back. But with counseling and prayers, she can do it!

Hi Mh,<BR>Anything can. It is a matter of time. Love grows ya know. Gotta water it. Right now there is too much salt on mine, diluting it with water is just spreading the pain. Working on it........ best wishes on your recovery.<P>L.<BR>

Thanks...I do know that love grows.<BR>I suppose I am looking for some magic little remedy or that I might say the right thing and then "poof"!<BR>Picking a book called Divorce-busting last night, I did read some pretty positive stuff, this coming from a non-Christian Psychologist. Talked about Illusions as to why you're marriage is over. A couple of them addressed this very issue...even used words that my W used to describe her feelings. <BR>I appreciate your posts, maggie and orchid

I am a firm believer that LOVE IS A CHOICE. I have chosen to love my H in spite of all that's gone on. He is choosing at this point not to love me (see my post about having to give it up). I am still praying for his eyes to open before our marriage is over.

MH, I've been wondering about you and CH. Glad to see you still around!<P>You know we're here for both of you anytime.<P>Yes. The love can come back - just like the others said. His Needs, Her Needs.... make love bank deposits, give it time, spend lots of time in prayer, develop your friendship.<P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Faith1, <BR>So good to hear from you. I have also been wondering how you are doing. <BR>ConfusedHeart and I are really trying. She doesn't feel like the love will ever return to her. The romantic side anyway. I don't know exactly how its all going to shake out. That's the reason for the big question. <BR>

Thanks, MH! I'm hanging in there.... chugging right along in Plan A.<P>Another suggestion for you, relax. Don't push that love feeling (is that a song?? LOL ) - you don't when you date someone - you be the best MH you can, deposit love bank units, and let her love develop. DOn't ask her about it, or remind her... just let it happen.<P>As I mentioned to her before, i can't relate, because I (the BS) never lost the love for my H. I was angry and hurt, but always wanted to work things out and kept loving him. As I trudge along in Plan A, with no EN's being filled by my H at all, I am growing weary, and yes, the love bank is dwindling. Thus, a time limit for Plan A, and Plan B's usefulness becomes very apparent. It's not time for me to Plan B, so I have to decide every day that I love my H and will continue the best Plan A that I can. This is the only other advice I have right now for CH. I made a commitment to stay maried to my H, through thick and thin, and one mistake he made to have an A and let his love die for me, will not break my commitment at this point. I can carry the load for a short while. I can decide to love for a short while, until H wakes up and fills my love bank back up.