Some faxes I recieved from ws ( my wife)<BR>Its all about our conversations that seem to cause more pain then help.<BR> I still think its amazing how both of us misunderstood each other and we both blammed ourselves for it. If words did not have so many meanings it wouldnt happen .<BR> <BR> Then of course there are those of us who were born bewildered ( she speaks of her self) It only takes a few words to cause great deal of pain.<BR> <BR> From now on. I will take all this into consideration when we converse on paper or in person. Remember, dont take anything personally. <BR> <BR> I faxed back a thankyou and that I would do the same .<BR> <BR> Anybody want to take a stab at this ? Do I see clearer thinking ? Possibly the fog is moving? <BR>all replies are appreciated.<BR>

CB,<P>Did you go over there and comfort her? Did you invite her over?? It seems to this rather simple guy, she is trying to talk with you. She is trying to reach out in her own way.<P>I would like to suggest something for you to talk with her about and try. It is a common exercise that is taught to people so that they improve the listening and communication skills.<P>Have her agree to do the following. If you make a statement, have her state to you what she heard you say. If it is not correct, explain to her again what you tried to say. You agree to do the same thing with her.<P>Now here is the trick, during the back and forth you are not allowed to be angry with her. Once, the statement is understood by both, the proceed. Heck, I suppose if you finally agree that you said and she heard what you said and reverse you can then get angry. <P>It seems to me she is trying to tell you things just as you are trying to tell her things. As she comes out of the fog the guilt and the pain will be strong for her. Help her CB and work on the communications with her. This exercise just may help.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

J L<BR> No I did not have her come over or go to her . As it ended up she couldnt wouldnt come over . I guess that was ok , because I was not in the best mood . She called and talked with our daughter. after asking my D what her mom was up to she said I should call her . I did ,1 Hr. of conversation we both felt a lot better. We both decided that our communication skills latley was hurting us, We both need to do different , hence the faxes . Now tonight she was over, just small conversation . As I walked her out to the car I offered my arm I havent done that since d day It felt good A hug and a kiss goodby and here I am .<BR> I believe she is trying to reach out to me . But in my confusion , lack of sleep , I have a hard time seeing it . And then I get flustered becuse I know I should be seeing it , and you know the rest you throw a couple of LB out there and what started as a good night turned to trash . I have to learn patience , small steps are hard for me .<BR>Thanks JL I will try the exercise.