I know exactly what you all mean. My husband takes the blame for A every time he comes back. He insists on calling me often, coming home on time, etc to reassure me. However, I can almost tell when the OW has contacted him again, because he starts not keeping in close contact with me, and starts acting angry at me, and saying things like "it's your fault, you were mean to me." I'm sure he's trying to justify leaving me, and I also think that the OW is "brainwashing" him. This woman is really sick! She obviously doesn't love my H (she could have had him three times before, but refused to give up her other boyfriend). Now she is married to the other guy (why would she marry him if she loved my H?) It's just a sick game to her. I think she will never ever stop.