I feel I'm at the end of my rope with trying to make things work(about 3 years we've been on a bumpy road). we got together for two week then she wanted to move back to her old place. I said that you got to do what makes you happy. she says we need counsoling (individual and together) but, i feel we don't get nothing accomplished when we're apart we just do are own thing you know go to work and nothing else. when we were together I tried with flowers and even help her get a car. then she moves out. I can't help but, feel used. I'm just so tried of the whole situation. I feel I love her very much but, I want to be fair to her if she's not in love with me then maybe she should move on. I feel her concerns are only the boy's and the security that I give her. I'm just so tired of the some old situation. you would think that we would have to start some where and I thought that was moving back together and getting help from there. I don't know if she moved back out because she thinks it will help or she has other things on her mind? maybe I don't know her as well as I thought I knew her after almost 12 years of marriage. I'm tempted to just keep my distance and get a divorce. I've always tried to be there for her but, that didn't seem to help. lost and confused.

Hi, <P>I am sorry you have been going through this for so long. Your question is a hard one to answer, each situation and attitude varies. Maybe some of those who have been here longer can help. Your question is a familar one, Steve and Jennifer may be able to provide you with some assistance in that direction. <P>I noticed you recently joined. How familar are you with the basic concepts shared here at MB? <P>I can send you the welcome package with can help familarize you with plan A and plan B along with the emotional needs questionnaires and other useful tools. There is also the phone counseling session with Jennifer or Steve. They have helped many. Either as a couple or individual counseling. Both have benefits. <P>Sometimes it takes time and us learning ways to help the WS come back to reality. Sharing our experiences is one way to learn but reading the books and writeups here is beneficial. Please let us know what you need and will try to get the info for you. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited August 29, 2001).]