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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 105
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 105 |
I'm new to this forum. Hope I get this right...I wrote all of this on a reply to someone else, and I apologize, I should have helped him with his concerns.<P>Anyway, here is my story... i have been married for almost 17 yrs. Husband had a temper/anger problem and I withdrew emotionally (and, often sexually) from him for years. We have 3 kids, I devoted my time to them and my job.<P>I began chatting on the internet... and the unthinkable happened, i met a man and had an affair. My husband found out about this affair about 6 weeks ago after he downloaded a program to spy on me on the internet. (he can still see everything i'm typing now)<P>We have been in counselling ever since. The counselling is going pretty well. HOwever, something in me cannot totally give myself to him and i'm not sure why. His temper and anger have been under control for the past several months (maybe even a year)... he has been working so very hard to change. At times I feel as if I'm just numb tho. He is a good man and a good father. I know that staying with him is the best choice.<P>Any thoughts of others who have been in my same place??? HOw do i forgive myself???? I have devastated him and I just don't know how to get beyond that.<P>Thanks for any help!
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 58
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 58 |
Hey confused<P>I too am in a simular situation, but my W is wanting a seperation now. My A was 15 yrs ago, but have been playing on the computer but, no A from it, very tempting, but haven't. We too are in counseling, but not working right now, because we are going to differnet cournselors at W request, because of problems from our childhood she says.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 209
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 209 |
ConfusedMom,<P>The best way to forgive yourself and to make this up to your H is to do everything you can to save your marriage. Try filling out the EN and LB questionnaires. Show your H that he is the one you want and let him know how much you want to be with him. Be sure to spend time ALONE every week and make him feel special again.<P>I can't say that I know how you feel because I am the BS, but I would love it if my H did these things for me. Remember, it took time for your relationship with your H to fall apart, it will take time to rebuild it also.<P>Good Luck, Heck<P>
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