Hi everyone, I had a horrible weekend so far, I hope everybody elses was better. LB with H, wish he would leave like he says. I still can't get the visions of him and her out of my mind. I fall asleep with it on my mind and wake up with it on my mind it seems to getting worse, especially now that I know what she looks like can anyone relate?? We have been trying to dicuss financial situations bills loans, child support Etc. guess we better leave that to the lawyers. He says he is filing for legal seperation. So I will wait for him to serve me and then I will go talk to my attnorney, I am really sacred I feel like I am not going to make it and that I can't go on, please God give me strengh. Someone out there tell I can get through, I can't believe this is happening!! This morning we had an argument We are having trouble with the oil burner and with the cold weather coming I want it fixed before he leaves, and I want oil in the tank I feel he is responsible for that, his kids need hot water for showers and heat when it gets cold. Then one thing led to another and I brought up the pic. which I believe a lot of you know about, anyway I found out that he is still carrying them around WHY??? burn them I said. No reply guess he likes carrying her around with him and he must be proud of his nude ones!! I proceeded to tell him that I spoke to his mom and I understand she is letting him stay there, she said yes but he has not said when he is leaving, this is so fu**ed up. Sorry its just that it never ends everyday something else happens. So he proceeded to call me a piece of Sh** and that he doesn't love me ,he says he should have left 10 years ago. and he will be moving some of his things next week, we will see. Where does he get off calling me a peice of sh**, I told him he is much lower than that. There is no hope for our M right now, why do I even still love him???? So another day of crying and self pity this sucks. My poor kids they have to be wrapped up in this mess. Maybe it will be better when he leaves, we'll see anyway have a great Sunday, I am certainly going to try. thanks for letting me vent. love Sally

sad sally,<BR>Sorry things aren't going well for you. Please ignore his remarks about what you are - that is not what you are. You are a valuable person. He will see that one day when he comes out of the fog. Believe me. My H said some things he doesn't remember saying - it is because of the fog.<P>It is even more painful to try and discuss this stuff logically when you are in such an emotional state. I know you are hurting I can acknowledge that. I hope these (((((((( hugs )))))))))) can make you feel a little better. I will put you on my prayer list. aftershock

Thanks Aftershock, I need prayers right now I am feeling very overwelhemed and sacred, I will try not to take what he says to me seriously but its hard. And thanks abunch for the hug I need them right now. Love Sally

Sally,<P>I just responded to you but can see you need more support. Hon, his words and threat are just that...... WS's babble in the fog. Will they even remember it later? Some don't. My H is surprise at the convesations I recall he even thinks I made some of them up. But his memory is vague and he does recall bits and pieces. My H has said similar and I kicked myself them for trying to keep our marriage, even H wondered why I kept trying. You know what? Me to. but I did. I was driven, instinctive for survival maybe, knowing this was not the man I married, could be love, because I loved my H and family? Yes. <P>Take CAre, <BR>L.<BR>

Hi Sally,<P>I'm so sorry things are so bad, honey. Try and stay calm, I know how hard it is, but you need to do it for the kids. I know this whole ordeal is very sureal, I lived it too. But someone has to stay sane. You CAN do this, and you WILL BE OKAY! Hae you seen your doc for anti-deps yet? You need to.<P>Have your H take care of the heating prob, leave him a note giving him all the details and what you expect to be done. The kids can not go without heat DAMMIT! If you leave him a note as opposed to talking to him there won't be a chance for another argument. <P>I'm just really sorry, Sally. You aren't alone out there. We're here and I'm sending you a knot for your rope that you're hanging on to.<P>Many, many prayers, Honey.<P>Love,<BR>Jo

ss,<BR>I know how OVERWHELMING it all can be - you are dealing with this intense, racking, pain inside. There is turmoil and anxiety. I know for certain that I was clinically depressed for a while, but I made it through without drugs. We saw a marriage counselor for three months - he didn't really help - we didn't think. You have to weather the storm - emotionally unfortunately. I know its gray and cloudy for you; Prayers for sun. <P>((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))) aftershock

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sad Sally:<BR><B>Hi everyone, I had a horrible weekend so far, I hope everybody elses was better. LB with H, wish he would leave like he says. I still can't get the visions of him and her out of my mind. I fall asleep with it on my mind and wake up with it on my mind it seems to getting worse, especially now that I know what she looks like can anyone relate?? We have been trying to dicuss financial situations bills loans, child support Etc. guess we better leave that to the lawyers. He says he is filing for legal seperation. So I will wait for him to serve me and then I will go talk to my attnorney, I am really sacred I feel like I am not going to make it and that I can't go on, please God give me strengh. Someone out there tell I can get through, I can't believe this is happening!! This morning we had an argument We are having trouble with the oil burner and with the cold weather coming I want it fixed before he leaves, and I want oil in the tank I feel he is responsible for that, his kids need hot water for showers and heat when it gets cold. Then one thing led to another and I brought up the pic. which I believe a lot of you know about, anyway I found out that he is still carrying them around WHY??? burn them I said. No reply guess he likes carrying her around with him and he must be proud of his nude ones!! I proceeded to tell him that I spoke to his mom and I understand she is letting him stay there, she said yes but he has not said when he is leaving, this is so fu**ed up. Sorry its just that it never ends everyday something else happens. So he proceeded to call me a piece of Sh** and that he doesn't love me ,he says he should have left 10 years ago. and he will be moving some of his things next week, we will see. Where does he get off calling me a peice of sh**, I told him he is much lower than that. There is no hope for our M right now, why do I even still love him???? So another day of crying and self pity this sucks. My poor kids they have to be wrapped up in this mess. Maybe it will be better when he leaves, we'll see anyway have a great Sunday, I am certainly going to try. thanks for letting me vent. love Sally </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hi orchid I just responded to our other thread, I know everything you are saying is true and I will try to take care of myself and my kids everything is so very complex and confusing, and i realize that the names he calls me he probably doesn't mean but it just adds to the hurt. If you have time read my other post on our thread Thanks Sally

Hi Jo, Thanks for the reply. I am trying to stay calm,I hope I can get through this. I am on 100mgs of zoloft and it is helping, if I wasn't I would probably be in the hospital.He will def. be fixing the heating the problem and I will leave him note. Thank for the knot for my rope that will get me through today. Love Sally

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sad Sally:<BR><B>Hi everyone, I had a horrible weekend so far, I hope everybody elses was better. LB with H, wish he would leave like he says. I still can't get the visions of him and her out of my mind. I fall asleep with it on my mind and wake up with it on my mind it seems to getting worse, especially now that I know what she looks like can anyone relate?? We have been trying to dicuss financial situations bills loans, child support Etc. guess we better leave that to the lawyers. He says he is filing for legal seperation. So I will wait for him to serve me and then I will go talk to my attnorney, I am really sacred I feel like I am not going to make it and that I can't go on, please God give me strengh. Someone out there tell I can get through, I can't believe this is happening!! This morning we had an argument We are having trouble with the oil burner and with the cold weather coming I want it fixed before he leaves, and I want oil in the tank I feel he is responsible for that, his kids need hot water for showers and heat when it gets cold. Then one thing led to another and I brought up the pic. which I believe a lot of you know about, anyway I found out that he is still carrying them around WHY??? burn them I said. No reply guess he likes carrying her around with him and he must be proud of his nude ones!! I proceeded to tell him that I spoke to his mom and I understand she is letting him stay there, she said yes but he has not said when he is leaving, this is so fu**ed up. Sorry its just that it never ends everyday something else happens. So he proceeded to call me a piece of Sh** and that he doesn't love me ,he says he should have left 10 years ago. and he will be moving some of his things next week, we will see. Where does he get off calling me a peice of sh**, I told him he is much lower than that. There is no hope for our M right now, why do I even still love him???? So another day of crying and self pity this sucks. My poor kids they have to be wrapped up in this mess. Maybe it will be better when he leaves, we'll see anyway have a great Sunday, I am certainly going to try. thanks for letting me vent. love Sally </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Sorry Sally, i am new at responding to this but have been reading for some time now. I have experienced some of what you are going through now but it seems from alot of your writings that you seem to both have issues. From your previous writing you stated that you will not talk to his Mom due to her illness, yet you have just done the opposite. Even without an illness, H family should not be told. You also said you just went back to work after being on vacation for 3 weeks but you say he is constantly working as overextended yourselves in debt, but as of this morning you are demanding oil in your tank even though you want him out. I am saying this because i did the same thing, but the difference was i didnt cook, wash his clothes or do anything to make my H happy when we started having problems. I also never came online but see you seem to be able to do thats even though you state you do everything. Let me know if i am wrong?

to lostmylove, I believe I have issues I never denied that.I have and am getting help for them unlike WH. As far as my mil goes she already knew about H A or should I say she suspected and then found out the truth. She asks me ? about how things are, I am honest with her but I don't go in to detail because of her illness. My H has asked if he can stay there so how could she not know what is going on?? As for me being home for 3 weeks, if you look at my profile I work with disabled children and we are off for 3 weeeks in the summer. We are in debt due to his A, A are expensive. but yes there are times I have over extended on credit cards due to him not giving me money. I did not demand oil in the tank I asked him if he was going to but oil in before he leaves there his kids too. It was his decision to leave I wanted to work the M out, I never demanded he leave. I suggested he leave after I found pic. of him and her together, and he agreed. As far as coming on line, I think you are a little out of line.. Yes I do everything for kids and house, he is never home he is always working I am Mom and Dad to them and I find time to go online to help myself cope, I am not on line to have fun theres a difference, I have to find the time for this, it is my therapy. Sally

<P>"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest"<P>Matthew 11:28<P><BR>Sad Sally, Trust in God. Try to give your pain and sorry to him and have faith that he will make good come out of all this. I understand how hard this is, I've been down where you are at now. But by the grace of God things will improve and you will be blessed.<P>I am praying for you now. <P>Stillhurts (but it's getting better)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sad Sally:<BR><B>to lostmylove, I believe I have issues I never denied that.I have and am getting help for them unlike WH. As far as my mil goes she already knew about H A or should I say she suspected and then found out the truth. She asks me ? about how things are, I am honest with her but I don't go in to detail because of her illness. My H has asked if he can stay there so how could she not know what is going on?? As for me being home for 3 weeks, if you look at my profile I work with disabled children and we are off for 3 weeeks in the summer. We are in debt due to his A, A are expensive. but yes there are times I have over extended on credit cards due to him not giving me money. I did not demand oil in the tank I asked him if he was going to but oil in before he leaves there his kids too. It was his decision to leave I wanted to work the M out, I never demanded he leave. I suggested he leave after I found pic. of him and her together, and he agreed. As far as coming on line, I think you are a little out of line.. Yes I do everything for kids and house, he is never home he is always working I am Mom and Dad to them and I find time to go online to help myself cope, I am not on line to have fun theres a difference, I have to find the time for this, it is my therapy. Sally </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Sally.....i wasnt trying to be out of line but just wondering how you find the time to be online when you stated how much you have to do. I know from myself with one child that i didnt have the time or strength to even turn the computer on after cooking a dinner for my child, cleaning, doing laundry, homework, etc.., and you have 3 children. As i stated before i didnt do these things while H was here. I went through the same crisis of H cheating and visions of seeing them together. Unfortunately, i guess i never gave him what i thought that he wanted, needed and was never there for him, therefore, he found it elsewhere with OW.<BR>

Sally,<P>Hang in there. The emotional uproar that goes along with these situations is so hard to deal with. <P>Remember that you are a good person and deserve to be treated better. Try to be kind to yourself....I know I am saying this....and I should be doing it too.<P>I am not sure if it does any good to rehash what they say. You cannot change them and their perceptions at the moment. That is hard for me to accept too. Take care...you are in my thoughts and prayers. MnM

Dear Sally,<P>Try not to worry or be afraid. God will take good care of you and your kids regardless. What H says about you does not make you who you are. Hang in there. We support you in your MB efforts. They are not in vain. Pull yourself up so you can have one fun day with the kids. It's not too late! Get some fresh air--if possible where you are located. LOVE & SQUEEZES!

To Stillhurts, Thank you so much for your encouragment, I will give it up to god and have faith,Thanks for your prayers Love Sally

To Stillhurts, Thanks for the encouragement it really helps, I will have faith that God has a plan for me. Thank you for your prayers. Love Sally

To lostmylove, Sorry if I was rude its just I am going through a really tough time. I do do a lot, its amazing if I do say so myself, my kids are 15, 12,9, so they help a lot. Sorry stillhurts for the double post i didn't realize i had 2 pages frist time. sally

to Bintheredunthat, MnM, thanks for your replys and encouragement hopefully I will have a better day tomorrow hope your weekend was good. I will keep you all posted Thanks again Love and Hugs Sally

Sally,<P>Hold your head high! Take control of the situation, you are probably stronger than you think! Run...don't walk to your attorney and tell him/her what may be happening. Even if your H doesn't serve you with papers, you want to know ahead of time what your rights are. You want to protect yourself and your children. Don't lie down...get up, show him your are better, stronger, smarter, dignified etc. than he will ever think. <P>Take care. I know this all hurts...<P>Roe