To be fair, you should see my post to Twyla in recovery. I am having a difficult time.<P>I am confident that we will survive. However, that survival comes at a great cost. A cost neither one of us expected to pay. And the real "bummer" (I know I'm 42) is that we loved each other all along and just didn't understand what was happening.<P>I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Jeffers. Please keep me in yours.<P>Julie

I was just looking back a few pages and found this. I didn't get on MB until late on 9/10 so it must have fallen off the front page. Sorry I missed it.<P>Not too long after coming here I also realized that we were going to survive, since survival was what we had for so many years. I hoped that we might create a new marriage, I didn't want to go through all that pain and end up back where we started. <P>I believe that we humans never really change unless we have to. We NEED pain to motivate us to act even if it's ultimately beneficial.<P>I also think we're more apt to continue to work hard at keeping our new marriage if it costs us something to get it. You know, "it's worth what you pay for it". Funny, isn't it, you can only "learn your lesson" by first making a mistake.<P>I've gotten a lot to think about from MB this week. I'm also getting worn down from the work and missing my family, plus all the other very sad events. <P>You are in my prayers (and many others, too),<P>Jeffers <P>P.S. I left a message on your TWYLA thread in recovery.