Let's make a long story short. I have been with H for 12 years, M for 7.He never seemed to put me 1st and I ALWAYS put him 1st.He was selfish, but I dealt with it and let him do whatever made him happy, taking up the slack for him. I have had one other EA in the past, now I have moved out and soon after started a relationship with a man I am crazy about, but I feel guilty and hopeless about our relationship now because my H and I used to be best friends and this has cost us our friendship. H really deep down blames me, he did nothing wrong, he is the victim here.( I was told I had to see a psychiatrist before WE could go to counciling) I went back once soon after I left him, hoping to make things right for the kids, but the vibes I got from H made me run. Now I have 2 of 3 kids and live 4 hrs. away, part time with OM.I am in deep with OM and he will be crushed if I leave him again. I am also in financial trouble, since H is playing child support games.(OM is helping out ALOT with $)<BR>I really felt it was over, but reading the stories here I guess I hope that something can help enlighten H to MY side of things, and maybe reconcile.<BR>Where do I start?What can we do from 4 hrs away? I can't afford to move back near him again. I wouldn't want to anyway, in case he DOESN'T see my side.<BR>I know I am wrong in what I'm doing, but I believe HE has a little to do with it,too.<BR>Any advice, any steps I should take? How do I adress H again and make him believe I want it to work?<BR>SS

<BR>Welcome to MB...if you are really serious about repairing your marriage you are in the right place...<P>Go the JustFoundOut forum for all the beginning stuff...what the acronyms, etc. mean...as well as the General Welcome.<P>As to how will your H know you are serious:<BR>Give him a copy of <I>Surviving an Affair </I>and your No Contact letter to OM...<P>Is the monetary cost worth the human cost if you don't?<P>Then, find a really good marital counselor...<P>Cali<P><P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

How do we work the 4 hour distance? I tried to move back closer, but I couldn't find anywhere to live I could afford.Luckily my house was still vacant for me to return to here. I can't afford to move again and H is being stubborn about the child support. It's already 1 1/2 weeks late, he just says it's in the mail.I don't even have gas money to get to work and I've borrowed from everyone I know already.My credit card is running up buying groceries. H apparently doesn't care. He makes good money, but he feels I don't deserve any of it. Even though I worked the past 4 years with him (we were self employed and I carried my share of the work), he thinks it's all his.He has kept everything we owned. <BR>I don't know how to go about this long distance.