Thanks Topie25 and INTHECLOUDS320.<P>I was lucky enough that she agreed early on to Answer the EN and LB questionares. I just hope they are true and not just what seemed true having been done so close to DDay.<P>I have been working on both her ENs and my LBs. When she gets back from her trip I plan to go through the 5 Steps to Romantic Love Workbook with her even though she may/may not sign the agreement. Just so that she and I have a plan and she and I can gauge my growth together.<P>I am still struggling with WS's EA. I've read the thread about snooping and I am torn between getting hurt from finding things and the need to know if she violates her non-contact agreement. I guess I just have to let that go and concentrate on my LBs and her ENs. Getting hurt when I find or think of ways she may be still remaining in contact with OM just leads me to LB. What really get me is how she has to go through withdrawal everytime she sees/talks to OM and my efforts seem to be expended for nothing ...<P>... then I read other topics here where it talks about Plan A is a time for me to grow, not necessarily her. Me. And laying down the foundation for Plan B.<P>Knowing whether or not he is going back on her word of no contact with the OM is not for my benefit till I am ready for Plan B. So I shoudln't make my self suffer ... right?<P>Right now I should be thankful that she has started to care enough to call me 3 to 4 times a day sharing with me what happened to her day and she would listen to mine. She cares enough to tell me that she appreciates the rose I had waiting for her at her Hotel. I shouldn't ruin it with negative thoughts and negative possibilies. It just chokes my ability to fill her ENs ... right?<P>It's getting late. I am realizing my lack of sleep doesn't help me function well during the day taking care of the kids this week and filling her ENs.<P>As per NSR, may I ask of those who pray please pray for "clarity" of my wife's mind ... and "patience, kindness, focus and persistence" for me. =) He he, seems like I need more help then she does .. lol. =)<P>Good night/morning ... and thanks again Topie25 and INTHECLOUDS320 for your responses.<P>

b2O,<P>Wanted to let you know your response has been read. It is hard to play the waiting game but if your W is making progress, it may be the best thing to do (vs snooping). Reestablishing trust is hard. But necesary for recovery. <P>Wishing you well on your journey.<P>L. <BR>

Thanks Orchid,<P>I will focus on Plan A and wait ... trust is hard to build when you feel that wall coming up every now and then and you know she had just read an email or listened to a vmail from the OM.<P>I will stop just to avoid LBs and the hurt ... thanks for reminding me on what to focus on.<P>B2O

You are welcome <P>I wanted to let you know I've read your post as well as many others. We are here for you and to help you get through this most difficult time. <P>Is plan A for you and her...yes. Is it made for you to suffer....no. What you read is right. Plan A is a time for you to work on yourself and your marriage and sort of way to cope with what is currently happening....your wife's EA and being in the fog. <P>You must focus on re-establishing the trust like Orchid says. It will take time and be so hard to swallow at times, but it is all worth it cause you would have done everything in your power to make this marriage work. <P>So, if you have made your choice to make this work, then Plan A is what you have to do. First thing is first though, your wife must agree on No Contact whatsoever with this OM. If she doesn't then I feel you have no choice but to move onto Plan B and have no contact with her except to deal with the children until she does prove the no contact with this OM and that she is doing her part in making the marriage work....basically, came out of the fog. <P>Right, if you just focus on the negative aspects of Plan-A, you will just get yourself mad and irrational and the last thing you would want to do is forfill her ENs. So, FOCUS ON THE GOOD ONLY and have patience.....LOTS <P>I've just said a prayer for quickness in your W's escape from the fog and that you find clarity, patience, kindness, strength, courage, love, and success, for your children as well. <P>Till next time, hang in there! <BR> Clouds