Actually, need to realize that my life is not ALL about my WS. I spend way too much time reading every possible book and reading everything here and other web sites too.<P>I am NOT getting my work done and sooner or later that is going to bite me. After all, if WS does leave, I have to have that job. I am "babysitting" the kids with computer games and videos because I have nothing left for them.<P>How can i let this go long enough to get things done??? How come you NEVER get a vacation from the feelings/guilt/anger/stress. Does anybody have PRACTICAL help. Don't just say, "You need to do xxx," tell me how. I got up early to get caught up and instead here I am.<P>Today my 7 yr old caught me crying. "Why are you crying?" I told him I was disappointed in myself about not getting projects at work done. (a partial truth) But WS has not left, and maybe won't, so how can I rock his world? Yet how can I keep telling partial truths to him?<P>I have vowed that now matter what the outcome, my kids are going to know about this mess before they get married - and get His Needs, Her Needs as a wedding gift!<P><BR>

Awwww... Unfortunately, no one can dictate our feelings. They are what they are. All we can do is feel...<P>OTOH, we do NOT need to allow our feelings to dictate to us. This is where God's promises come into the picture. There is all sorts of encouragement to be found in God's Word for the heavyladen and those in mourning.<P>So, my suggestion to you is go by what you KNOW, not by what you feel. We KNOW God loves us and that He has a plan for our lives. We KNOW that all things work together for good for those who love God. We KNOW that the enemy is forever defeated. Think about those things.<P>And like you said, think about how blessed your kids will be that they can be better informed whenever they enter into their marriages.<P>In the meantime, let the tears flow. Did you know God keeps track of each and every one? He cares for you that lovingly and that watchfully.<p>[This message has been edited by BINthereDUNthat (edited September 10, 2001).]

Bgentle,<P>A counselor once suggested that I set aside an hour a day for working on the issue. If my thoughts strayed toward the affair during other parts of my day, I could put the thought out of my mind or I could jot a quick note of something that I wanted to work on during that assigned hour.<P>It didn't work perfectly, but it did help restore some bit of order and productivity to my life.<P>MJ

Thanks for the suggestions. <P>Mrs. Job, cutting back to an hour a day, I don't know, I think I might go into withdrawal! Maybe I can get there gradually.