Well, if anyone read my post a few days ago I ws sooo optimistic...oh well...I just think some of these "cheaters" don't want to change. <P>My H can't seem to understand the "damage" he has done. If I'm nice to him he starts to take me for granted & the old Lou that is so selfish, judgemental & insecure appears again.<P>I can't take the torture. He makes me feel so little, so used. <P><BR>Any suggestions before I go off the deep end again ?

lou, don't let someone else dictate to you how you feel about yourself!!! You are strong, you can do and be anything you want to be, stop beiing a doormat!!! <P>Take a deep breath, doing something nice for yourself and enjoy it.<P>In a few days go to plan b if you are ready, don't do it out of haste.<P>Be strong!!! be yourself!! make your own decisions!<BR>

Louser, nothing I could say could really help...I know totally how you feel...after having intimacy with me...my H left to meet OW...hence started a whirlwind in me called Hurrican Cali...I wish I had read <I>The Four Agreements </I> and <I>The Mastery of Love </I> beforehand...perhaps I would have 'reacted' differently:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CaringAndLovingIndividual:<BR><B><I>Every relationship in your life can be healed, every relationship can be wonderful, but it's always going to begin with you. You need to have the courage to use the truth, to talk with yourself with the truth, to be completely honest with yourself. Perhaps you don't have to be honest with the whole world, but you can be honest with yourself. Perhaps you cannot control what is going to happen around you but you can control your own reactions. Those reactions are going to guide the dream of your life, your personal dream. It's your reactions that make you happy or unhappy.<P>Your reactions are the key to having a wonderful life. If you can learn to control your own reactions, then you can change your routines, and change your life. </I><P>from "The Mastery of Love" by don Miguel Ruiz<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Take care, my prayers are with you,<P>Cali<P><P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Louser-<BR>I'm so sorry lou is treating you like this but believe me, you are not alone. I didn't have sex on the beach either this weekend and my d day was 2-2000. But yet I'm hanging in there and coming here for support. Believe me, there is a reason for all of this. Perhaps it will make us stronger in this or if unfortunately necessary, future relationships. Yes - I'm jjjjjjaded (aerosmith), but still hold some glimmer of hope that this can all work out. Thank you for replying to some of my threads. I hate that we are all here now but then again thank goodness you are here to listen....<P>Deb<P>

Oops - was I supposed to say s** on the beach instead of s**(well you know). Sorry if that was inappropriate. Darn it, as long as I've been without, it just felt good to even say it! Guess I got carried away...<P>

Exactly what is the "proper" etiquette ?<P>So much is said ( and seen )on TV. Hence all the WS maybe ?<P>H is moving out today. I'm not happy, but keep taking breathes. I'm tired of being a "doormat". <P>I'm looking for a better day. For ALL of US !!<P>Lisa