Over one year since d-day, plan "A" during same, and have discovered that WS has called OM from our house at their work location (school). OM is depositing money into W account (still). W denies everything (WS Oath). <P><BR>WS is in the process of getting another job which will move move her away from the same work location as OM. Not sure if this is so she will not have to work with OM, as she tells me, or just for her own personal development. I asked W "do you want me to leave?" W said "No". W said "were would I go". I told her "I am not worried about that, i will find somewhere." I also asked her " do you want to be with him (om)?" W said "No." I was calm the whole time, but firm. LB'ing? Sounds like major fence setting by W. And ya know, maybe me also(?). My heart isn't into the move to Plan B yet . I guess this was a vailed threat on my part to leave?<P><BR>I asked W if she would send a "No Contact" letter to OM. She said "why is that needed." I told her "so i and we can close this chapter in our lives and move on." She said "she wants to close the chapter also." Then W told me "sure." about the "No Contact" letter. I have been wait about asking for the letter again, not wanting to LB, but I think I shouldn't let it drop. May ask today about drafting the letter and content. Confict avoidance I guess.<P>Thoughts, kick in the butt.....?<BR>

Hi Positive. One thing I learned, if W commits to writing a letter, get a date or something that it will be done by. Just say "when do you think is a good time?" If she says "I don't know.", then say "Okay, but that doesn't help, if we want to get it done, we should make a plan to get it done and stick with it. You're reluctance makes me feel like you are not serious."<P>My H would have put off doing it for as long as possible. Conflict avoider himself...<P>I think you've already answered your question about plan B. Like BrambleRose and others say alot, it sounds like you need to set some boundaries for yourself so you stop fence sitting. If W isn't going to meet your needs, do whatever you need/want to do for yourself while SHE is fence sitting. Do not wait for her any longer, get on with your life so that you are not fence sitting.<P>If W oversteps these boundaries, THEN go to plan B or seperate or something. Don't change your boundaries to accommodate your W. Until you have boundaries and until they are overstepped, you will NEVER feel ready for plan B. You may feel pressured to go there, but eventually you will regret it if you do it.<P>You can only stop you from fence-sitting, you can't stop your W...<P>HbH