I am the BS and here is an email from my H (WS) my response is following):<BR>Here he starts talking about his feelings: ...feeling close to you, just example: after a busy day and you go back to the room and watch tv and i go to another room and watch tv and when are both so busy that we don't, won't, can't, talk and we end up hearing things for the first time from our friends. Another one which I have come to recognize that I need, one that I have told myself that I didn't is affection. Baby, I need your affection, your embrace, your kiss, your hand in mine, you time, and your compliments. We used to do things, special things for one another to show that love and appreciation, we need to have to attempt to get back to it. <P>My resonse: <P>Hey, I really appreciate you sharing your needs. I think we are doing good keeping each other up on things by email. I am going to attempt now to be radically honest without "love busting". I recongise you MAYBE going through some conversion process with the Lord making changes in you. I say MAYBE because the trust level takes time to restore and I am not sure if it is true change or you manipulating to get me back. I feel like the needs you expressed are needs I have attempted to meet. You pull away when I (use to) attempt to touch you. The compliments I gave<BR>you was never enough and so you sought them out from OW. All you requested I have requested in the passed. I am scared, I don't want to be hurt again. This pattern of you doing "whatever it takes" then you slip into emotional unavailability once you know you got me has been going on 11 years. For me to think THIS TIME he means it would be insanity. I need to get to a point where i can leave the passed in the passed but some healing has to take place first. Please be patient with me. I hear what you are asking<BR>and I am responding truthfully, I will try but don't be surprised or think I didn't hear you if I don't "jump all over it" next time we see each other. It probably won't happen. It's too soon. I have put the divorce on hold and starting contemplating reconciliation but to be radically honest I am not convinced that this is going to work. <P>I did tell him I am at this site a lot but I am not sure if he lurks...I think a big LB is me posting this here and exposing his vulnerability but there is anonimity here. <P>Please MB's let me know what you think<BR>

I don't see any of that being a LB. I think it was you being honest. I am not being very warm toward my W right now as you know. I find it real hard to be close to her now, because I feel violated and I am angry and hurt. I told my W,(and she read it as well when I posted here) I don't feel love for her right now. I don't like the feeling I have, and I hope my anger and hurt are just camoflaging my feelings of love. I am scared that I may never feel that love I had for her again, that is really tough to think about. I just hope that she will show support and love toward me and help me through this, and I think that is what you are asking your H. E