I don't know, but I'm getting a sense that other men are wondering if am available. I am not sending (at least I don't think so) any nonverbal messages and I have always distanced myself if my intuition felt that their was more than just an appropiate working/community relationship with someone. <P> I know my small community thinks they know who the OW is of my H's, but she is not local. They are just guessing about the A, because they know there are problems. I know it may have developed later, and I have talked with her, but the real OW lives 300 miles away and H is currently talkling to OW Mon.-Fri. at work.<P>It seems like people are trying to see if I will give a hint. Sould I tell my WS of this feeling? Have any of you experienced this?<BR>

Hi Exploding:<P>Well, I would think that any man who would intrude on your situation right now would probably be just someone looking to take advantage of your vunerability right now and certainly if you live in a small community...everyone knows your business anyway.<P>I think it's not important that what other men think...what's important is what you think...and if you feel that you will be vunerable to this type of situation then I would tell your WH...I caution you though that this often is seen as a manipulative method used to incite jealousy in the WH...so unless you are really worried about it...let it go.<P>Faye<p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited September 16, 2001).]

Exploding:<P>Buffy (Faye) is right. Discourage any active advances, should they occur, and focus on marital recovery. Any male who is approaching you in that manner now is a predator and not worthy.<P>Your efforts should be those spelled out in Plan A ... reaching into your WS's fog in an endeavor to pull him out.<P>Along the way, you will discover things that will improve you (and hopefully your marriage) in the long run.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Thanks Buffy & STL. I am not worried about being attacted to the others - I know what they are - Like you said predators and I usually don't put myself in an alluring situation. This last week my H asked for more space so I am giving him space. I just miss his touch & I just want to hug him so tight & say that I love him. I know he would accept my hug, but right now he is wanting his space.<P>We had a community activity this last weekend & H was there both nights. It is not my type of crowd, so I only went out for 2-3 hours each evening. I gave him his space and visited with a few women. (Not many there) When a few men came over to visit he then came over and sat by me. I left both nights by 10:30p.m. H came home before midnight, because for the most part it wasn't his type of crowd either. The only reason I went out was to show him my support for his activities. Then I tried to enjoy myself with conversion. A plan A thing to do - right.<P>I am plan Aing, although I mess up about once/week. STL - My last post was a LB, but the ones that responded helped me clean up my jealous LBing. I know it was god sending me a direct message. I really never tried to get my H ever jealous of other men. It is only the last 3-5 years that we have been jealous of each others activites or accomplishments, I think. For 20 years we took pride what each other did and even now I take pride in H's activities and I know he is proud of what I do. <P>I don't like others trying to look directly into my eyes and seeing my pain. It seemed like every were I looked last night, someone seemed to have questioning eyes. The last two times I have posted, the responses have truely been my life line - Thank you oooo so much.<P>I want to change my username, how do you do that? I feel exploding is now inappropriate.<P>