Well to make a long story short, my WH left today packed the rest of his necessity things and left to stay with his mom. Today was horrible he went on the computer and looked up all my post I have made on here and read all my replies. I have nothing to hide I just knew that he would continue poking fun at me like a child, He kept saying things to belittle me right in front of the kids!!! So of course I totally went nuts because he is trying to twist things around to make it seem like its my fault. He told our older son who is 15 that I(meaning me) was not giving him what he needed so he went and found someone else, can you believe this????? I am okay with him leaving I prepared for this he already told me 2 weeks ago. but he keep stalling now that I Lb he has justification for leaving he says its all my fault. Any thoughts anyone??? Sally

Sally:<P>I am so sorry. Don't really know what to say except you know that he is still blaming you for his infidelity. You are not the bad guy he is. He had no right to say anything to your son. I also have a 15 yr old S & my H told him about his "straying". S is now in counseling, but is having a lot of trouble trying to understand why I can't get over it. He doesn't know any of the details & thinks it's only a little thing. I don't ever want him to know how low his dad is.<P>Sally, keep your chin up. Try & talk to your S. Your H is still acting like a coward. I am so sorry.<P>Lisa

You are so right that is exactly what he is acting like a coward, How dare he tell our son that!! He really needed to leave my head is spinning. With everything happening in this country and my M how much can a person take???? Love Sally

well I have a 15 yo son too, and I told him these were my choices, and I (and his mother) have to work them out as best we can. Your H had no right to do that, and needs to tell his son he was angry when he said that, and that we are all responsible for our own choices, and the consequences.

Sally I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and we care about you here. I am also having a bad weekend as you can see from my post. I do know from reading books about affairs that blaming the BS is very common. I also have a teen like you do- thats a hard enough age to deal with in addition to all of these issues- my kids are 14, 9 and 4 so I seem to have EVERY age to deal with lately! Take care- hope we both get some good replies to our posts. lifeismessy

Hi Snl, I spoke to my son after he left and he cried for a short time and I said everything will be alright. He will probably need counseling, My H doesn't realize the damage he has done with what he says and what he does. The pain he has caused us is horrible. I hope he has enough sence to exlpain to our kids the proper way, My daughter asked as he was leaving if he would ever come back and my other son was trying not to show his hurt, It kills me to see there pain because my parents were D so I know there pain. Sally

Thanks Lifeismessy, With everything happening in this country and our WS, talking to our kids about all this how much stress to our kids have to be under? mine are 15,12,9. Its so unfair. I am sorry you had a bad weekend too,I will read your post. Love Sally

Dear Sally,<P>I am sorry for you and your family having to live through your H's reactions. How is your relationship with your MIL? <P>If he went there and she is the kind of mother he will need to have for this situation, there may be hope. There is no excuse for his conduct. Time will have to help him see that. As one who tries to bring the bad to justice, it is difficult to understand his current mentality. But this A stuff does happen to the best of them and they need to come out of it themselves. <P>Right now Sally, support is needed for you and your young'uns. Hug them reassure your love for them and let them speak their mind and heart to you and their dad as they can. Some will do better than others but kids are great when it comes to reminding us that we as parents may not be doing a good job. My little 6 year old, put H in his place many times. Even today with just a few pointed questions, he let his dad know that going to meetings and learning about God is more important than work. But he did it in a question form so that H had to admit that he was making a poor choice. <P>Wow, that little one can put a point across to his dad that I couldn't do even though I talked until I was blue in my face. <P>Learn to recognize and use the tools you have available. Especially use the one's God provides. <P><<<<<hugs>>>>>> and take care,<BR>L. <BR>

No thoughts, just lots of hugs for you & your kids, SS. Be strong in the Lord and keep the faith for your H to straighten up and fly right!