from Lexxxy in KS's thread:<BR>"I tend to keep things very private ... Needless to say, him talking to anyone about my A is a huge LB for me."<P>I as a BS have a problem. I have a WS who feels much like you do. But... there are certain topics that I cannot talk to WS about. For example, I am certain that XXX is involved in why A happened, but WS doesn't think so. For me to talk to WS about XXX would therefore be an LB of "educating." I can't talk much here either (hence the XXX) because if WS ever makes it here, I want my posts to be as much about me getting support as possible, and not to make WS feel that privacy has been invaded. But I desperately need to talk to someone. I did once but the response from WS was BAD! Any suggestions? (I was careful, no one from either family, etc.)<P>from Lexxxy in KS's thread: "H decided that I needed help. He got sick of prodding me to confide in someone, so he took it upon himself to reveal things to my mother in the hopes that she would reach out to me. It devasted my relationship with her. I MISS HER SO MUCH. I can't even be in the same room, phone calls I cut short...."<P>Ugh, that sounds awful, what a horrible thing to do! It is certainly your place to decide what should be shared with your mother. I am so sorry that was done!<BR>

Bgentle,<P>I guess SEM is lucky that I have an open mind. Ya it hurts to have people talk about you and your mistakes. Nobody wants there reputation rubbed in the mud. Not that this is your intention, but it feels like it to the WS. I don't mind too much if SEM talks to people on MB's about my A. I would rather him talk to a bunch of people who are going through the same thing who also don't know me in person, then talk with people I have to see or talk to in person on a regular basis. I don't want to have to feel like I am being judged.<P>SEM found this site as a way to help him and us. So ask your Ws if they minds if do post your feelings here. Tell them that there are other WS such as my self who also need to talk about there own feelings. Good luck to you both. Sherry

Thanks, KS, for responding. I have decided to post only the questions I have about how I should behave and as little as possible about WS, so that if WS gets here, privacy is not an issue. The rest will just have to go into my journal. I can get lots of help from other threads as well, since the remarkable thing is how other situations are SO similar!<P>I will probably post a LOT more if I ever have to go to plan B!