I REMEMBER READIND SOMETHING THE OTHER NIGHT ABOUT HOW DR. HARLEY SAID THAT MANY SPOUSES WILL SAY THEY ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH SPOUSE ANYMORE AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE MARRIED.. AND SOMETHING ABOUT THE COUPLES FALLING IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AGAIN.. WAS I JUST IMAGINING THIS OR IS IT HERE?? I HAVE SEARCHED AND CAN NOT FIND IT NOW.. APPREICATE IT IF ANYONE KNEW WHERE I MIGHT FIND THIS AT!! THANKS

Perhaps this is what you are looking for? Let me know, if not, I'll keep searching around for you:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>The Love Bank</A>

Bin--That's not exactly what I was looking for but thanks anyway!! I just remember reading one particular sentence about after A that the spouse may think they don't want to be married and that their marriage would never work..etc,. maybe I dreamed it up somewhere!!

Hey, it's me again, what you say sounds so familiar. Wonder if it's in the HNHN book? I'm still looking around for you, in the meantime, I found these Q&A's on coping with infidelity:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5059_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5059_qa.html</A> <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>Since an affair usually creates emotional distance between spouses, lovers describe their increasing dissatisfaction with their marriages. They talk about how incompatible they are in marriage and how compatible they are with each other. The addiction they have for each other turns the relationship into a passion that makes an eternal relationship with each other an absolute necessity. Many would rather commit suicide together than to return to their horrible spouses. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Here's another excerpt from another Q&A link: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5032e_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5032e_qa.html</A> <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>An affair is an addiction. People that have one lose perspective for what is important in life, and are willing to sacrifice their careers, their families, their reputation and financial security just to continue in the relationship. Your husband is in the process of trying to make sense of his temptation to throw away everything he's valued just to be with his lover. You are depressed about all of this, but so is he, because he doesn't want to lose you and his children, or his lover. He wants to be honest and faithful to you. But he doesn't know how to do it. He needs to talk with someone who can help him understand the importance of total withdrawal from his friend, and that if he does not eliminate her entirely from his life, his family, career and reputation are at risk. <BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Mostly talking about the withdrawal phase where WS is still in love with OP but unwilling to let go of the marriage...<P>I'll keep looking! I'll browse through my book too! You may have read it in one of the letters from a spouse seeking advice from Harley? OR in one of the scenarios from the book. We'll find it!

Thanks SO much BTDT... that does help!.. Still not what I was looking for but that does help.. I know it wasn't in the book itself because I read the book couple of months ago.. I remember it was something here that I wanted to print off... anyway.. thanks for all the help AGAIN

What about this:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>When a couple asks me to help them with their marriage, unresolved conflicts usually abound. And they present their marital problems to me as a litany of failures to resolve those conflicts. But as I probe the depth of their despair, conflicts are not usually the greatest source of their hopelessness. One spouse, and sometimes both of them, tell me that it is their lost feeling of love and passion for the other that bothers them the most. They don't believe that feeling will ever return, and without that feeling, they do not want to be married to their spouse. Their greatest feeling of hopelessness is about their lost love, not their inability to resolve conflicts.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It's an excerpt from the article, "How to Create Your Own Plan to Resolve Conflicts and Restore Love to Your Marriage" by Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8114_plan.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8114_plan.html</A> <BR>