Thats my question for you all. I in fact emailed the OW and then talked to her on the phone. She was more than willing to answer any of my questions about my H. Her story wasn't even close to what my H had said. Which is very wierd. She says they haven't seen each other since April and that she hopes he's ok. I said he was just fine. Do the OP not admit to anything even when asked?? Cause now i'm confused. I don't understand why she wouldn't come out and tell me she had slept with my h. I was very nice, no angry tone of voice. She said that she in fact did not sleep with him. That he was more than likely messing with my head or was sleeping with someone else. IT was the single most wierdest conversation I've had in years. She didn't say anything to what i had to ask her to back up my H's story. She said she was mad at him now for trashing her name. She said she thought we weer all friends and she couldn't beleive he would do that to her. Why wouldn't she just admit it? She has nothing to lose, it doesn't make any sense to me. My H was very mad that i called her. I told him, well if you've got nothing more to hide, then she should be able to back up story and your whereabouts, won't she???? She didn't at all. So, where does that leave me??? I'm wondering if he's still seeing her now, or if he's been seeing someone else and said it was her to through me off, or What???? Paytonrose

I called her last monday. Shocked her. I said this Is **** I am looking for my husband ..*****<P><BR>It was a huge relief

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beautiful:<BR><B>I called her last monday. Shocked her. I said this Is **** I am looking for my husband ..*****<P><BR>It was a huge relief</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Oh wait I actually said..This is *** wife..he did not come home..I wonder if you know where he is...LOL...<P>It was huge<BR>

In 1994 I talked to the first OW. She denied it. I said "well I am not here to find out if it is true, my husband already told me it is... I am here to tell you to please stay away because we are working on our marriage". <P>1995 I talked to second OW. At the time they were "just friends" so I asked if he was seeing anyone. She said she thought I should talk to H about that. I told her I did and he says he is not and wants to work things out with me. She said "well, since your separated isn't it o.k. for him to see someone else?" I said "that would be just fine if that is what he was telling me so I could get on with my life, but that is not what he is telling me and since you two are such good friends I thought I would ask woman to woman" She said she was not comfortable talking to me about that and that it was between me and my H. A few weeks later, he moved in with her. It still hurts. <P>He made contact with her 3 times in the last year. Yes it still hurts. After the first contact he admitted they had a PA in 1994. We separated 3 times and are now back together. <P>I just hate this somedays.

Will the OP lie? ROFL YES if it is in his/her best interest to do so. So take anything an OP says with a grain of salt. She definitely doesn't have your best interests at heart. I knew right away that something was seriously wrong as soon as H started his A. Within a week I had suspicions that it was an A (though it seemed unbelievable he would do such a thing). He had mentioned a former office temp several times. How he felt sorry for her, poor thing. Her life was sooo hard and she always came to him to talk about her problems because he was older and "so cool." I went out one day. When I got back he was gone. I picked up the phone and pressed redial. A woman answered. I said "Is Skanky office temp there?" She said "This is Skanky!" All I said after that was "This is Cheater's wife. Why would he be calling you?" She immedaitely started yelling at me, very indignantly "I can't beleive you are accusing me of having an affair with your Cheater. I haven't even talked to him since I left that job a month ago. I am NOT that kind of person and I don't appreciate your accusations!" Hmm. I didn't actually accuse her of anything. Of course he denied any involvement but boy did he go white as a ghost when I asked why he was calling Skanky on our phone. He claimed they were "friends" and had talked "one or 2 times" (she told me none) since she left. When he came home the next day he said "I called Skanky and told her that we could never talk again because my wife doesn't want me to have any friends and it caused too much hassle." He left me and moved in with her less than 2 weeks later. Maintained for the duration of our separation that he had NEVER spoken to her again since the day after I called her. After he dumped her and moved back home she couldn't call me fast enough to spill all the gory details, hoping I would dump him. She also started with "I am really sorry but I feel you need to know, I know I was wrong..." As soon as I told her that I loved my H and we were staying together she blew up on me. Phony apologies right out the window. 2 months of harassment followed. I never said much when she called. I finally had enough. I called her and informed her that from this point on she would deal exclusively with me and the police. We never heard from her again.

Hell no, do not expect the truth from the OP! They are liars just like our cheating spouses are liars. <P>She told me all kinds of garbage that of course my husband denied. They loved each other, they talked every day when he was at work. He always called her (she didn't have his number)and that was another lie because H told me she did call him and talk to him to say goodbye. <P>There is no advantage to them to admit anything to you. Don't expect them to have any type of remorse or to tell you the truth. They could care less about you or your feelings. If they cared about you or what you thought, then they wouldn't have had an affair with your spouse in the first place.

payton,<P>After I calmed down I called and asked OM to meet me for lunch. I needed to see who he was and if he loved my W. He gave me the same BS story that she did (one time, bad mistake, they were drunk, it'll never happen again, etc.). I told him I would get out of the way if they wanted to pursue it. I asked him to think about my kids and for us to be adults about this, a lot of people could get hurt. I could tell just by his demeanor that he was playing her. Five minutes after we left he called her (she forgot to erase the caller ID). I should have figured it out sooner but it took me a month or so to realize he played me. I still am glad that I did it because I saw who he was and no matter what I knew it would not work out for them. That kept me going a lot of times that I wanted to give up. Now, if it could just work out for us. Be careful.<P><BR>who

Oh yes, they do lie. Unfortunately in my case BOTH my H and former best friend lied FOR 6 YEARS to be exact. He was finally 'forced' in counseling to tell the truth. She had everybody believing she was being persecuted and had 'done nothing wrong.' I guess she believes having sex with him in her car, at her house, making out at the office AND IN MY BED is nothing. Very hard to take from 2 people whom I loved and trusted. I can't believe a friend would EVER do that, especially in their friend's house.<P>So, yes, they will do whatever they need to to look better. My H still refuses to tell his parents the truth which would really help me and show his support. Why? Because he wants to look good.<P>Frustrating!

paytonrose:<P><BR>My OM lied about all to my husband after I confessed to him. He said we never had a sexual relationship, that we were just a support system to one another or something like that. After OM did that OM called me and seriously believed my husband would believe me if I take it all back. I told him I am not lying anymore and now he knows what a liar you are. I suppose it was self defense that he lied, didnt want his own wife to find out...