When I arrived home today my spouse quickly came running out of our home office. She was so glad to see me. She ran up to me and sat me down on the couch and jumped on my lap. As she kissed me she told me how much she wanted to make love tonight despite her having a cold. <P>Wow I thought she really was coming back to life, being kind to me,loving and not her nasty self. Well, we agreed to go to bed early...but something did not add up, something was wrong. <P>I went into the office and onto the computer. I then opened the recording program I installed some time ago. There it was, a chat conversation with her cyber affair partner. He was out of the country and they did not chat for 2 months. She was so happy to hear from him. <P>Well, all I can say is as we make love tonight I will be checking to see if her eyes are opened or not. Then I will really know for sure if she is making love to him or me. It´s not easy.......

O.k. this is my opinion = take it for what its worth (could be nothing) but please confront her about it. And please do not reward her behavior by giving yourself to her. Work on setting boundaries and be firm enough to follow through with them. Read about lovebusters. Just state the facts but cushion them with compliments (how much you want to work on your marriage etc.) You deserve respect but you will not get it if you don't demand it. The only way to deman it is to be willing to give her up. <BR>

Man, that sucks. Don't you just hate that crap. My W told a friend how she would have sex with her partner, then come home to me, much the same way your W acted, and have me finish what they could not...sigh. Such betrayal. Wife doesn't know I know this many details. <P> But what difference would it make if she did? None, would just be another LBer. One more thing I had to turn over to The Highest Authority. <P> Thinking of you man. Sorry you had to learn this crap. Hang in there.<P> jd

Richritchey - it was a big improvement when I gave up the detailed snooping. Took me months getting to that point.<P>Most days, the lack of information doesn't actually improve my mood. Believe me, you can still tell that something is going on. You sensed something not right, you can trust your instincts.<P>Now at least I'm not spending the time on snooping, and I don't have to dwell on the explicit details.<P>If you confront her, or she detects the recording software, it's a major LB. The WS seems to focus on their "right to privacy".<P>Finally, when she gives you a chance like that, you want to show yourself at your best. You can only do that by acting as if she meant it. I don't think that's possible with snooping in detail.<P>- Tom