Maybe this is my problem. What would be the signs? Just wondering. I searched the forum but did'nt find anything. Thanks.<P>Bye for now

Absolutely...... I already know that I am addicted to my W. No doubt about it. That is what makes this time away from her so hard. For almost 1/3 of my life I have been able to at least talk to her everyday, until this. That people is an addiction.<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

This is an interesting take on things.....maybe that is the reason many of stay with the spouse, even when it hurts??<P>I mean I've read things about being addited to the OP, even though you love your spouse you NEED (addicted?) the OP......Maybe it works in reverse too?

I have also been with my w for almost 1/3 of my life. I constantly have the urge to call her on the phone, send e-mails and visit her at work. I want to see her and talk to her. I too am addicted. The only time I feel better is when I don't see her or talk to her for a few days. Then we talk or visit with each other during child exchange and then I go nuts. I have such strong feelings for her and then she just takes off with om. Anybody with me? <P>Bye for now

I don't necessarily think it as addiction. Generally with addictions you feel "high" in some way - I just feel peaceful when I am with him or talking to him, even now. I have been with him for over half my life - everytime I look at anything in this house it reminds me of him, of course looking at our children reminds me of him, every memory I have of my adult life involves him - he is part of me and that will never change.

Yes I believe you can be addicted to your mate, especially when you think you just couldn't survive with out them, I'm in the process of getting a balance in that area.<BR>Real love the God kind of love Loves enough to let a person go if they want to, because that is the way God loves us. Love dosen't smother a person. A person needs to be addicted to Jesus not their mate. And then you can have the kind of relationship that God intended for you to have. I hope this has been helpful, I'm going through withdrawl symptoms now because my husband quit seeing the oher women and took a Over the Road trucking job and boy am I lonely. I'm volunteering more so I can keep busy.<BR>God bless you all

Hi Christian<P>You need to fill the void your wife created. She has moved on and is most likely happy. It hurts because she seems happy without you.<P>You need to regain your respect and self confidence. This world is full of loving people just waiting for a great guy to come along. Get that aura of strength and self confidence back so you won't waste you life. Yes you love your W but she is not with you. You can and will find new love plus you will be better prepared for a new relationship.<P>The reality is you W does not have you in her thoughts or life so don't waste your time with someone who does not want you. It hurts, the pain is unbearable but you need to move on. Sounds impossible but you will find new love and feel better and this addiction to your W will fade. One day you will look back at W from a different perspective and just be happy that you shared part of your life with her.<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on your feet than live on your knees"

Thanks Toronto,<BR>You are right. I need to face the realization that I am going to have to move on without her. If a miracle takes place and she decides to look my way, I'll just deal with that at the time.<P>By the way, I e-mailed her a few minutes ago just to say, hi! Oops!<P>I'm moving on though. I really mean it this time.<P>Bye for now<P>

Addiction to spouse...since you have spent years with your wife, they do become part of you. It's like losing one half of yourself to a whole after this happens, because they were enmeshed in most everything you did. I think most everyone is addicted to their spouse, all of those times shared together, all the memories. But do know that you didn't make this choice, she did, and most likely will fall at some point. You did all you could to save this relationship, with that, you can hold your head high. The betrayer that walks out on their spouse has (IMO) a very sad existence ahead of them, it does come crashing down. Agree with Toronto, it's good for you to be able to move on for yourself now. Prayers are with you.