What do you do with the OW when she just won't give up? My H cheated on me with this woman who I know is not going to give up the relationship. She lives less then a mile from us and neither of us can move. <BR>She has tried everything she called me once and told me she was Pregnant which she has showed no proof to me yet and that was 2 months ago. Called To telling me she wants me to leave my husband or she would keep bothering us. She shows up to my husbands work still he has told her to leave us alone that we are trying to work stuff out. She doesn't care. She has asked her husband for a divorce and she wants my family now. Before I found out they were having this affair she was trying to act like she was my best friend she would come to my house and see me and take my kids places and all along she is sleeping with my husband. It is like in the movies like fatal attraction or something.<BR>The other day she went to see my husband at work and told my husband he needed to watch me because I had something going on with her husband ( NO WAY!!!!) I have never cheated on my family. Her husband is out of the country right now he came home for a month when he found out this was going on and has sense left. I was e-mailing him stuff till I decided I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth to me either and I found out he was still talking to her and telling her everything I wrote to him. I have stopped all contact with him now. I don't know who to trust right now. I know I can trust my self and that is about it. Everytime I think things are going ok again and I let my gaurd down I get slapped in the face again with some more news we started marriage counseling last week I sure do hope it helps us out. My husband really does seem to be trying he has changed allot sense it all happened and he wants me to trust him again but I just don't seem to be able to do it yet it is hard to forgive when you are not sure your not going to get hurt again. Does anyone have any ideas? or have I totaly confused you all. Thanks for listening.

Has your husband sent OW a no-contact letter? Until he stands with you on this, OW may continue to think there is hope for her. If she continued to harass you after that, it would be a case for the police.<P>If he won't send the letter, your problem is more him than OW.<P>Rose Red

Thanks RedRose for writting back to me so soon. I am not sure if he has actually written her a letter or not. The whole mess is a very touchy thing. We really don't ant any evidance of the affair now he is in a job where he could get in allot of trouble if they found out he did this. I know he has told her over the phone to leave us alone and he said he told her face to face I wasn't there for that one. The phone I was. We have cut off all e-mail accounts with her and her husband also. I am hoping she will get the hint now and leave us alone.

mostlyhurt why not change your phone number. Get a private number. If she persists talk to your H about getting a restraining order against her. Don't play her games. It sounds as though your H is trying. Do you believe that the A is really over? Does he have a cell phone or pager? I know how suspicious I've become since my H and I separated. I know it's really hard but since he is at least going to MC with you that is a step in the right direction. Good luck to you and keep posting.

Cybil Thanks for posting. We have thought about changing our phone number at home but she isn't really bothering us at home she was calling my husband's work to talk to him. He says she isn't caling any more I hope he is telling me everything. Things have calmed down with her sense the last time she came to his office to see him and I found out he told me then that he told her to leave him alone and he hasn't heard form her sense. I don't think he is seeing her any more I don't give him too much breathing space I am sure you know what I mean by that. We only have one car now days and you know he doesn't get it I am taking him to work and picking him up. We went to the MC yesterday I don't feel like I got much out of it. I got really upset with my husband because he told the MC that I had been rubbing the A in his face and I don't feel like I have been. The only thing I did was ask him a few times last week if he had heard from OW well if that is what he thinks rubbing in his face is I could show him how I could rub it in his face. I think I have been pretty calm about the whole mess. I did lose my temper one time before we started MC and that is when I decided I needed help with the mess we were in. I kind of feel like i am the one doing all the work in trying to make this marriage still work. I have been reading alot of books and I found this site to write on and I was the one who was decided we were going to the MC he does go with me but I am not sure it is a good thing or not. Yesterday I wanted to talk to the MC about the anger I still had for OW and some how we got on the subject of me rubbing the A in my husbands face. I have been trying to decide if I wanted to call the OW or write to her but I am trying to keep this A low keyed she doesn't have any proof that they had the A and that is good. My husband could get in allot of trouble with his job if they found out he did this. So I don't know what to do about her. Well thanks for reading my post again. Please keep writting if you'd like. <P> <BR>

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Cybil Thanks for posting. We have thought about changing our phone number at home but she isn't really bothering us at home she was calling my husband's work to talk to him. He says she isn't caling any more I hope he is telling me everything. Things have calmed down with her sense the last time she came to his office to see him and I found out he told me then that he told her to leave him alone and he hasn't heard form her sense. I don't think he is seeing her any more I don't give him too much breathing space I am sure you know what I mean by that. We only have one car now days and you know he doesn't get it I am taking him to work and picking him up. We went to the MC yesterday I don't feel like I got much out of it. I got really upset with my husband because he told the MC that I had been rubbing the A in his face and I don't feel like I have been. The only thing I did was ask him a few times last week if he had heard from OW well if that is what he thinks rubbing in his face is I could show him how I could rub it in his face. I think I have been pretty calm about the whole mess. I did lose my temper one time before we started MC and that is when I decided I needed help with the mess we were in. I kind of feel like i am the one doing all the work in trying to make this marriage still work. I have been reading alot of books and I found this site to write on and I was the one who was decided we were going to the MC he does go with me but I am not sure it is a good thing or not. Yesterday I wanted to talk to the MC about the anger I still had for OW and some how we got on the subject of me rubbing the A in my husbands face. I have been trying to decide if I wanted to call the OW or write to her but I am trying to keep this A low keyed she doesn't have any proof that they had the A and that is good. My husband could get in allot of trouble with his job if they found out he did this. So I don't know what to do about her. Well thanks for reading my post again. Please keep writting if you'd like I'd like to find some friends on here that I could get to know and we could help each other out.

well sorry for the mess up I don't really know what happened here but I got this message on here a bunch of times. I think there was something going on with the site this morning that the site was down or something. Sorry again.

Dear MH,<P>Sometimes there are duplicating post problems. Don't worry. We keep posting anyway!! LOL!!!<P>Your OW sounds a lot like the one in our lives. Crazy witch. Mine earned the dubious name Mrs. Psyco Babble Rabbit. Talks up a storm, writes tons of e-mails, sends body part pictures over the internet (e-mails) and claimed 3 unproven prego and no babies!??!?! Hm.... basically she is a character that threatens when she is not getting her way. Sounds like yours. <P>How about this? If your H is truly home to stay and wants to help both of you heal, then he needs to commit to meeting your needs and you his. Are you familar with the emotional needs questionnaire? Have you been given a welcome package outlining the tools offered here at MB?<P>Another suggestion is to file a harrassment suit or restraining order against the OW. Check out the local law in your area. The police can provide the info. If she shows up at your home, you can have her picked up or removed by the police. These persistent OWs don't give up easily. Check into the legality of recording her phone calls. If it is a menance at work, they company maybe able to do somehing about that. <P>The piece bothering me is like what happened to my H. He said no contact, I heard the call, etc. Yet within 1 month, OW was claiming prego 2 and then 2 months later prego 3 (now you know why I call her Rabbit). <P>So much for no contact. How do you have no contact and yet have sex? Hm...... Well, OW wanted to flaunt it so she called the house, left 35 phone messages. Over 1 hour in messages. Crazy lady..... That's how she got the title Psyco Babble.....<P>So be careful. If your H is honest, he will be willing to prove his commitment and provide reassurance to you. don;'t get too greedy for it but be reasonable. He will appreicate that. <P><BR>L.

Orchid my H says he hasn't heard from her in awhile I am hoping she has given up. And I am hoping he is being honest with me. Am I wrong for not knowing if I should believe him or not. I just found out about the A in the begining of Aug he was away when I found out and my husband just got home in Sept. She even drove 6 hours once to see him and stayed the night with him. I still have the little bird in the back of my head that tells me to not trust him. <P>She was coming by my house to see me before I found out she hasn't called him at home or came by here sense I found out. I found the e-mail account my H was using when they were writting and stupid me told him as soon as I found it that I did big mistake on my part I was so angery that I just told him. She was writting to him there but he put a block on the e-mail so she couldn't write to him there any more. I asked him once if he started another e-mail he said no I hope he is being truthful. I haven't seen any more evidence in any more being open to him. I have no idea if there is away to find out or not. Thanks again.

Yeah, document future incidents and then do what Orchid said, FILE a police report and get a restraining order! She's whacko!