All,<P>Last few days went as good as to be expected. Last night we went out and ate. Had a few drinks and talked most of the night. She responded to me well all day. Came back home and got to bed and I was rubbing her shoulders and one thing lead to another. After it was over she started crying hystarically. After she calmed down I put my arms around her and fell asleep together. I went riding today for a few hours and felt pretty good but I expected just what she dished out when I got home. She was very mean hearted and told me several hurtful things. Said that I don't mean anything to her anymore and told me last night meant nothing. We went to do some shopping and on the way back she told me that she wanted a legal seperation and I didn't know what quite to say. I told her that if we done that then she would give me know chose but to go to plan B and explained to her what that meant. NO CONTACT unless it was an emergency with the kids. I told her that I would keep holding on till the divorce was final because I wouldn't turn my back on her until I was SURE that this is what she wanted. She told me that I hadn't listened to a word that she said when she told me that it was OVER. (Can't you get it though your head that it's over between us?) What do I do? Do I give her what she wants? Do I give her the legal separation? I just don't know what to do! Anyone been through this? I need some support here!<P>Thanks in advance<P>Roughneck

Hi R, <P>I see the stress in your post. Swinging from one emotion to another and taking you on that wild roller coaster ride. Think she'll turn and give you hope again? Maybe, as long as she keeps waffling, it is a sign of her not settling. <P>You go to plan B if you need to protect your love for her. It is hard though because you are away a lot and I think you said you have children? You depend on her to keep the household running while you are away? <P>How do you feel about a stronger plan A while she waffles? This is hard. Maybe a session with Steve or Jennifer may give you better direction. <P>Sorry I could not be of better assistance. This is the time when the BS takes the brunt of the A and is the most vulnerable. Hang in there R, you can ride out this storm. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

S,<P> Don't do anything drastic. Please read and STUDY the following thread.<P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html</A> <P>The information there is very important for you to understand. I know how hard this is for you man. Hang in there and don't throw in the towel just yet.<P> jd

bump

Well Roughneck,<BR>From what I have been reading out here for the short time I have been hanging out, WS will say stuff like that one day, then back to being nice the next day so, like jdmac1 said, just take it one day at a time and focus on what love you have left for your wife and try to preserve that with Plan A. {{{{{HUGS TO YOU}}}}}

All,<P>As far as plan B, I don't have a chose. I will be moving out the next time I am in which will be in three weeks. I know she has mixed emotions but she is still wanting me to move out. I guess her feelings for Derick is to much for her to handle me and him being in the picture. <P>That is what she wants and my counciler, my family and her family agree with me. GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS! Her dad thinks she is making the mistake of all mistakes and told me that he wouldn't blame me if I divorced her after all that has happened. I am not giving up but plan B is not my chose but I'm going to implement it to it's fullest. She will bring the kids to my parents house and will pick them up there. I will not be there and I asked her not to call me or come by to see how I was doing. She has always had me and I have tryed to give her the world but it is time for her to find out for herself what it is like without me in her life.....<P>Thanks again for all the support. You are all angels with a broken heart and I love you all for being stong for me when I can't be!<P><BR>Regards<P><BR>Roughneck