D-Day 8/21. Originally, she had cooked up a story of complete innocence with OM about the activities of the "one night stand". Having caught her red handed in several lies about the original story, she changed her story to "One long kiss" and claimed she regained her senses and it stopped right there. All the while, she claimed no additional contact except one call from her mobile which she hung up before he answered and one call from work which was (she said) purely business.<BR>Again and again, I keep asking her to admit that she did have sex with him, because with all the circumstancial evidence, combined with my gut feeling, there is no doubt that they went all the way. Also, she has refused a lie detector test. She wrote me a letter two weeks after D-Day explaining that the reason she was withdrawn and wanted her space was not because she was still seeing him, but because she has not been able to face herself because of the shame of the "terrible" thing she did. I asked her several times why she should be so ashamed if all she did was kiss ? She said she couldn't face me because she couldn't face herself. At that time however, she was "on cloud nine" with everyone else she came in contact with. I forgave her over and over, and reassured her that I am willing and able to move on, but not until I am certain that she has given me the whole story.<BR>As is so often the case, since D-Day, there have been ups and downs, more lies, more denials, and flip flops about whether or not she wants to commit to rebuilding. <BR>The final straw came last Friday when I went home unexpectedly, and listened to her talk on the phone with OM about OUR relationship (she reassured him that it was over), who did and did not know about what they had done, and worst of all, they discussed the details of their latest story. Her last words to him were "OK, that's the final story, and I'm sticking to it."<BR>When she hung up, I walked into the room and she said Oh, sh*********t". I was pissed and asked many questions. She said the reason she called him was that she knew that he could be seeing me soon, and she wanted to make sure that he knew that I knew that she had changed their first lie of complete innocence to the "Kiss Only" story. We talked for quite a while, with things ending on a good note. As I drove back to work, however, the reality of what had just happened sent me over the edge. I realized what a gullable fool I have been to think for a second that I could believe anything she has said - especially about having sex with him.<BR>I decide then that it was time for me to leave and I have.<P>Perhaps my perspective is jaded, so I ask you all, do you or could you believe this fogged liar ?<BR>

No, sorry, I wouldn't believe her now either...<P>The WS spouse tells SO many lies, ALL the time, about everything and to everyone. They have to, in order to keep the fantassy world going. When the BS finds out, they have to live in reality, OM's warts and all start to come out, because the excitement of secrecy has gone.<P>Her reaction to you overhearing was overdone if all she talked about was the kiss. She is probably tearing her hair out wondering just HOW much you heard of that conversation.<P>You moved out? What happened there...did you go home and confront her?<P>Love and light and strength for this difficult time,<P>Jacky

dirtboy - Don't believe a word she says. She's following the script exactly as expected. <P>My advice to you is 1) review WAT's Quick Start Guidelines for Betrayed Spouses, posted on the Just Found Out board, 2) move right back in if you've moved out, and 3) don't ask her any more questions if you don't want to hear lies beyond belief. You must assume that the affair is continuing, and relize there's nothing you can do to separate the infidels.<P>Get hot on Plan A and take the moral high ground.<P>WAT