My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we lived together 4 years before that. Two months ago I found out he has been having an affair with a girl he works with for about 18 months. I don't know exactly what caused the affair because he really won't talk about it much. And when he does he tells me one thing and then turns back around and says that is not true. After I found out about the affair and he admitted it he left me that night two days later he came home wanting to try to work things out saying he could leave her easier than he could leave me. And telling me that he loved me more. But when he left he told me the opposite. He stayed about a week and we did not work on any problems because he won't open up and talk to me. He said he needed to go try his life with her. I did not see him for a couple of days then he started coming by again. after about a week he said he wanted to try to make our marriage work and he would never cheat on me again, that he had learned some vauable lessons and he was going to end it with this girl at work. Well I sold our house during this time and I needed a place for me and our son to stay and he had us move in with him. After about a week he told me he didn't know if he wanted to work on our marriage at all. And changed everything around again. I told him I would find a place to rent and move out. He said he would let me know what he wanted to do before then. Well I moved out and now he says that right now he does't want to work on our mariage. But he tells he loves me all the time and he also shows his affection.I told him I did not want to see him anymore until he made up his mind for good, but I've told him that before and everytime he says he is sure it is me he wants but then he changes his mind. I can't keep going on like this and I am thinking about just signing the divorce papers and getting on with my life. He wants me to give him 2 more weeks. I don't know what to do. I love him very much and I believe that he also loves me. He says he has not been with this girl since he ended it but he does see her sometimes at work. I know he will not change jobs and I believe this is his problem. Give me some advice on where I go from here.

Have you considered going to Plan B? That would give you some peace for a while and give him a chance to try life without you.<P>You have heard of the old saying .... If you love someone, let them go. If they comes back to you, you will know they truely love you. If you do this you will need to write him a Plan B letter spelling out the conditions under which you would take him back...<P>like no contact with OW, changing his job, reading the MB material and implementing it in your marriage, perhaps some marriage counseling.<P>my 2 cents<P>Z

I am scared. Right now he is coming over and doing stuff around this house I rented such as weed eating and repairs and he acts like nothing is wrong. He told me Saturday night that he would let me know if he wanted to work on our marriage in two weeks. At that time I told him that I wanted him to stay away from me and he said maybe that was what he needed to do. But he has been helping me with stuff since then. He will be coming by almost every night this week to do stuff and our son has a ball game on Thursday night. He is suppose to pick up our son this weekend because I am going out of town. Should I wait until the 2 weeks are up before I go to plan B and see what he has to say? Or should I go to plan B now? I know the way he is and at the end of the 2 Weeks he will not say anything unless I bring it up. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.