Well as I've read others post about tings getting better over time I am beginning to see that. I don't cry as much as I use to and when I do it's very brief. I can sleep again and I'm getting my appetite back. I talked to H tonight briefly on the phone he wanted to talk to the kids but my 11yr. old didn't want to talk to him she's going through a resentment period or something with daddy. She talks to him when she wants to and gives the affection when she wants so I don't push her. I'm going out Friday night with my girlfriends on to a club that just opened. I haven't been out dancing in ages and I'm really looking forward to going out with the girls. My H is suppose to keep the girls so tonight he ask if my plans were definite for Fri. and I said yes. I ask if he was going to still come over and stay with the girls and he said yes. I told him that he could spend the night here with them and I would stay at my girlfriends (she's a single mom) and he said no you don't have to. The reason I suggested this is because whenever I go out even to a friends house and he has the kids he calls me on my cell and wants to know when I'll be home. I told him that I did not wnat a curfew and if this would be a problem I would make other arrangements. He said it would not be a problem. I know my H he wants to be here to see what I'm wearing and what time I get home. I'm so excited I'm going to buy myself a new outfit H was right when he made a comment to me last week and said I am just existing. I need to live again for me and the kids because whether we make our marriage work or not life will go on.

Good for you hon!! Make sure you look your absolute best when you go out with the gals!! Get your H 'wondering'. Even if the club sucks, and you end up hanging out at a coffee shop to girl talk.. so what! hehehe.<P>Have you thought about not bringing your cell phone with you that night? Maybe make arrangements with your H that you call him to see how things are going? IMO, it would give you more control. Then there's always the option of having the phone with you, but leaving the ringer turned off, and only pick up messages. I would hate to see your night out ruined b/c of his calls for non-emergency reasons.<P>This is a huge step for you. As easy as it was in our pasts to go out with the gals.. it's amazing how we get into rutts and stop doing these things for us. Have a great time, and be sure to update us on your H's reactions! <P>Karen<BR>

Good for you, cybil, make up your mind to relax and enjoy yourself! HAVE FUN!

Thanks for your replies Topie25 and BTDT. I am so looking forward to this night out I feel like a school girl. I'll keep you posted.<BR>C

Cybil, we're all proud of you. This sounds like a huge step forward. Have a great time and keep us posted.

<BR>I'm proud of you, Cybil. Yes, <BR>life must go on. We must find ways <BR>of making ourselves happy. Life is <BR>too short to be sad all the time. <P>I'm giving my marriage another <BR>chance. I'm on plan A right now. <BR>I'll keep showing love but I <BR>will not miss out on having a <BR>good night's rest. I will not <BR>miss out on having great time with <BR>my son. I will not miss out on <BR>my workout so that I will remain <BR>healthy. <P>GH