Faith,<p> Your are right. I don't agree with you. I think that the woman that loved me died back in Jan. I think that if I were to drop off the face of the earth tomorrow. I don't think that she would notice. I know how important I am to her. I am not even going to classify what she has done as an affair any longer.<p>Indy<p>[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

bump.

Indy -- <p>I see so much pain in your posts. I hesitate to post to you cuz I sure don't want to add to it.<p>Do you think your W avoids you for that reason? I know that I've felt that my H puts too much pressure and responsibility on me for his happiness. It tends to drive me away from him. <p>You got dealt a crappy hand. No one disputes the pain of what you're going through. But you've just got to move on and work on you.<p>If you wouldn't call it an affair, what would you call it?

Lexxxy <p> Yes, my wife avoids me. As she has said. She hates me. To be honest I would call him her boyfriend. I am in her mind her exhusband since Jan. <p> I sent the letter to her that talked about space for me to work on things. Well, I was just talking to my lawyer and guess who called. You guessed it. It was my wife. I have no idea what she wants. My question is. Since I asked her not to call me at work anymore is she trying to test my resolve?<p>Indy

Indy,
Where'd that smile [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] go that was there yesterday?<p>Sorry I haven't been around this morning. I had a big personal financial boo-boo I had to deal with. sigh.... another result of all this wonderful crap I've been going through. <p>I think Lexxxy, and I and Z are all trying to tell you to quit being so negative. It's your choice to act anyway you want - that's for sure. But we're all going through crap, and we have to just let some of it go. Learn how to hydroplane over the crap, ya know?<p>So lemme see that smile every now and then. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Life will NEVER be the same for you. NEVER. But you will be ok. And you know that, deep inside... <p>SHe is either trying to test your resolve, take control of the communication, or she really misses talking to you. One or all of the above.<p>Faith1 [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Faith,<p> I think that she just wants control.<p>Indy

Well somebody is in control of every situation.
If not her then you. Thats not bad.<p>You don't have to allow her to control your thoughts or feelings though. And you have the ability to control too. So start working for your best interests.

Indy,
Well, if she's wanting control of the communication, then stand firm on your request to avoid the phone calls. k? Don't answer them, don't get angry at her for calling you, and don't feel bad for NOT answering them. Yep, I guess that's similar to testing your resolve.<p>Faith1

Lexxxy,<p> I don't let her control my feelings. I feel this way because I obviously did something really wrong that caused this to happen. <p>Indy

Faith and Lexxy,<p> She just called back to the office. I answered the phone. I didn't know it was her. I then hung up. I gave her that letter and she still calls me at work. What is up with that?? <p>Indy

Indy,<p>Do what you told her you would do, and end the call immediately. If she continues to call, let us know. YOu may have to stop answering your phone??? is that possible?? You might ask her why she's not honoring your request the next time you talk to her. You may also send her another letter - perhaps the same letter as before.<p>She must be trying to test your resolve... or she can't STAND being out of control. What does she want when she calls? What is she asking/telling???<p>I tried to send you an e-mail... it keeps coming back. Have you sent me one? <p>Faith1

I think you're right -- she's testing.
If you've Plan B'd her -- you are right to end the call. (I hope you did it in a non LB way....such as Please respect my wish not to be contacted at work -- then hang up)<p>By the way -- what did she want?

Faith and Lexxxy,<p> She didn't get a chance to ask. I just hung up the phone as soon as I heard her voice. Was I wrong? Should I call her and tell her that I am sorry?<p>Faith,<p> I will send to a test message in a couple of mins.<p>Indy

doudle post.<p>[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,
Haven't seen any e-mails yet.<p>no, I don't think you should call her and apologize. If SHE brings it up sometime, apologize. But next time, be polite and say what lexxxy said. k? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>see ya,
Faith1

Faith,<p> I will send another message from my civilian account. It just really hurts not talking to her. I know it hurts more when I do, but I love to hear her voice.<p>Indy

Faith,<p> I just sent you an email.<p>Indy

Faith, Z, and All,<p> You know it really sucks wondering what she wanted today. I wonder what it was.<p>Indy

Dear Indy, <p>Sending support......... did you get it? You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there with us buddy. <p>L.

hehe, Indy. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] curiosity killed the cat. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>what could she have wanted?? If it was an emergency, she would've called back, right?<p>how ya doin' tonite?<p>Faith1