Hi Indy, <p>Here at work and stopped in for a few minutes. You left her a message and she was not in. Leave it at that. You are wondering a lot and need to refocus on something else for a while. Easy to say, hard to do but better for you if you do. Consider it a temporary break from this soap opera roller coaster ride. <p>Get out and do something fun for you today. Let her do some of the wondering. My H said he had paperwork, I said ok. Called his bluff. Now that I look back, he bluffed a lot. He learned from the best of the bluffers (OW). <p>Go out with some buddies or pal around with family. Go to the movies or golf, fish, bowling, anything which will help you smile. Really Indy, you need to do this for you. <p>This is not a one sided request. This goes for all us Bs's out there. Otherwise we will spend these weekends sitting on the pity pot. Not a good place to be on a nice day. (I'm in California so the weather is real nice today. I know the weather has been rough in other states but you can make the best of what you have). <p>Take Charge of your life and smile. <p>L. <p>ps: Makes the WS wonder what you are up to! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
You want the WS to think about the BS right?
So why not make the conditions for it? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Orchid,<p> I haven't called her yet. I don't know if I should wait and do it tonight before I leave so she can't try and get me into a conversation or should I call her from work. Yes, I am at work too.<p>Indy<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Everyone,<p> I am going take the kids to get something to eat. I will check in in awhile.<p>Indy

Everyone,<p> I called the OM's house. Thank god the answering machine picked up. I just told her that I got her message, and that I would talk to her later. Was that to short or was it just right???<p>Indy

Hi, Indy!
I think that message was just fine.<p>Did you have a good lunch with your kids? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Go do something fun with them.<p>A movie? Shopping? Play in the yard? GO to the park? Is the weather nice there? or too cold.... I dunno. hehe<p>Slow Saturday afternoon on MB, I believe. Maybe others will be off and on later.<p>See ya!
Faith1

Faith,<p> No, I didn't get to do anything. I left work and just brought the kids to my parents' house. We then proceeded to go clean the car. Well my daughter had an accident and then on top of that my battery went dead in the car. So, I went to get a battery and my daughter is in the bathtub. I will change the battery later.<p>Indy

Indy,<p>Don't you just hate it when a day ends up like that... argh.<p>Maybe you and the kids could just have a quiet night and watch a good, humorous movie at home.<p>Z

Z,<p> You are right. What a day. What do you think about the message that I left her? I hate having to call out there. It is just like I would be calling home to tell her when I was going to be home for dinner. I am curious about the article that you mentioned earlier today. Did you have a chance to find it? I could really use it. Also, I am concerned for STL. He has been gone for awhile. How is he doing? How are the kids? <p> I find it funny that she didn't want any of this stuff a month ago. She hasn't needed for the last nine months. My question would be why now. Is it because I tild her she needed to pay support? <p>Indy

Let's go see Monster Inc. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Hi Orcid,<p> Sorry I didn't get back here till now. I have had a full day. I am just trying to make it through tonight without falling apart.<p>Indy<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,
No falling apart allowed tonite, k?<p>How's it going?<p>It's Saturday nite, so we may need a "Saturday nite" thread later. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
Faith1

Indy,
I am back from a very nice day with my 2 D. I brought them to miniature golf then see Monster Inc (thanks to Orchid's idea ...). WW still in la la land & my D did not even mention her at all. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I am qualify as mr. mom. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>what sports your kid do ? Mine is Artistic Roller Skating, the old quads. They made it to National @ Pensacola,FL last summer. They train about 15 hours per week.<p>Faith1, good idea on SatNightThread, the night still young at West Coast.

Faith and Redhat,<p> I am here now. I am trying really hard. I had a pretty rough day. I could have used her help. I don't know if I can handle this alone. People tell me that I will find someone else. Yeck, my wife even tried too. Faith knows that story.<p> My stepdaughter palyed soccer last year. My son is like his old man. He likes to play baseball. He didn't get to play this year. That really hurt him, and it hurt me to watch him hurt. I think that he and the rest of the kids thought that mommy was going to come home. I finally told my son the truth. He had some questions about the situation. I am called mom all of the time. <p>Indy

Indy,
Yep. You are hanging in there in a tough situation. You see all kinds of parents on here trying to make things work all alone. I KNOW it's got to be tough. Sounds like you are doing fine.<p>I may start a Saturday nite thread later for goofing off and us all keeping each other company.<p>
Faith1<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

I am here now. I am trying really hard. I had a pretty rough day. I could have used her help. I don't know if I can handle this alone. People tell me that I will find someone else. Yeck, my wife even tried too. Faith knows that story. <p>In time you will find someone but for now you are still M to WW. We all here to give each other cyber supports.<p> My stepdaughter palyed soccer last year. My son is like his old man. He likes to play baseball. He didn't get to play this year. That really hurt him, and it hurt me to watch him hurt.
Couldn't you get other "baseball dad" to help around ? so that S could play ?. How about SD ?, is there any other soccer DAD/MOM around to help ?. In my church there are support group that help single MOM/DAD to share the load, you might waht to check one around you. Probably get your parent to help too, they will be glad to get involve.<p> I think that he and the rest of the kids thought that mommy was going to come home. I finally told my son the truth. He had some questions about the situation. <p>Good ... be there for him and let him know whatever happen you always love him. He needs to ease the pain too. My youngest D has discussions/questions about this too. It hurts me but I told her that this "problem" is an adult problem and only between H & W. W loves her and I love her and that is all matter now. We try to sort out our problem and it might or might not work.<p>I am called mom all of the time.

Isn't that the truth [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Guys,<p> I am going to try and sleep. I don't know if I will be able to, but I am going to try.<p>Indy

Indy,
you need some rest. nite.<p>We'll party without ya. hehe [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Faith1

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Faith1:
<strong>Indy,
you need some rest. nite.<p>We'll party without ya. hehe [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Faith1</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Where is SatNightThread ? .... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Indy,<p>Here is a link to the article/letter I mentioned. I hope it helps some.<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042b_qa.html<p>I really understand how hard it is to do handle many things as a single parent. Sometimes two people are needed to just handle everything. After my divorce I had that problem raising my son. He is what they call a high maintenance child... basically he is like have two or three. While I was going through my divorce I met a young lady whose husband had walked out on her and their 3 boys. The youngest was 6 months old. We ended up helping eachother.. being that other person. We had keys to each other's homes. If one of us needed any help any time of day/night the other would come help. Her husband did not want any time with the kids so she had them 24/7 and had to go back to work. So I started giving her a break on the weekends that I had my son. They are like brothers to my son. I took her kids for the weekend. With the other kids around, my son was much easier for me to manage. It worked out great for both of us. <p>Remember my suggesting that you look for a local parents without partners group? Many times people in those groups are in the same situation you are. I am sure that they need help from time to time. You could find some people who would understand what you are going through and be there for you.<p>I think that your phone message was good. You kept it simple and to the point.<p>About your W asking for her stuff... It's probably been at the back of her mind for a while. When you asked for child support it brought her thought of the possessions to the front. Once you asked for child support, you broke the ice of asking for things that can be uncomfortable to ask for. So she took the opportunity.<p>Well, I'm packing for my trip. Don't leave until Monday morning, so I have two days to just get ready (except for having to work half day today and tomorrow). I'm so excited, a real vacation. A week with out kids to pamper myself and STL!!!! Even went out and bought some new cloths today. They make my wardrobe seem brand new. Can you tell I'm having fun and being silly?<p>STL already left, his plane should be landing in Orlando about now. He has to present tomorrow so he had to go early.<p>Well, I'll check in with you in a bit.<p>Z [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Z,<p> I read the article thanks. I don't know what to say. I will read it more in depth tonight. It sounds like you are ready to go on vacation. You sound just like I did in the summer of 2000. My wife and I got a two week vacation from the kids. I guess it wasn't long enough. I will check in later today. <p>Indy