Brief history: My H (WS) had a PA with OW in 1994. He contacted her 3 times in the passed year. The first time we separated for 2 weeks. The second time for 2 months and the 3rd time for 4 months and I filed for divorce. He moved back in about a month ago and all is going well. We have been to countless counselors over the years (we've been together 12 years). I have been through 10 years of individual counseling off/on. Now he is in individual counseling. I have "heard it all". There is nothing new under the sun. Me and my H are doing great. it is very basic - it takes 2 to make a marriage work and right now we are both working on it so what is the point of counseling? Is it o.k./normal that I want to blow the counseling off? I have learned alot from counselors but I am just at a point where the knowledge and application is there and being put into action.

Where's the icon that designates a huge ***sighhh****? I know how you feel, notheard. I felt much the same way about seeing a counselor. Didn't have too much faith in any counselors ability to say anything profound enough to give me the answers I needed or ease my pain. I wasn't entirely ignorant. I KNEW what it would take to make this marriage work. Gosh, I'd had years of psyc classes in college, relationship studies, read so many of the books. What magic words was a counselor going to have that I hadn't already heard? But I did it anyway. It made me feel as though I was doing something constructive. This time I interviewed the counselors by phone til I found what I was looking for. And I went. For almost 2 years. And I was glad I did. No, she didn't have the answers for me, but she gave me a unbiased 3rd party to run my ideas and thoughts through. She gave me things to think about, goals to set for MYSELF and an interested party to chart MY progress. I went for me,,not my marriage, but for me, which inturn, helped the marriage. If you decide to give the counselor another try, be very selective about who you choose this time. Try to find someone you can relate to, that can relate to your situation. Good luck.....

Thanks for your reply. <BR>I really do appreciate your input...<BR>...but I still don't wanna.

LOL....Can't say I don't understand!! LOL

I'm all talk. We have a counseling appointment Saturday which we thought we would have to cancel which is why I posted...I didn't care. Anyway our other plans fell through so now we are WIDE OPEN for counseling. Bummer!!! But I will go. The lady does Imago Therapy. A friend recommended her and I have read a little about it on the internet. But does anyone have any experience with Imago Therapy (Phys. Harvell Hendrix founded it)