OMG! LOL I went back and read my post on this thread from October 18, 2001!! LOL LOL The reason it's so funny is that I started dating a man on November 17, 2001 and married him March 8, 2002!!! LOL LOL So much for insisting that I didn't want a relationship!! LOL<p>Mitzi [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Bryan,<p>Well, here is my response to your topic....Why do women choose to be with guys that are bad for them? This may be a bit complicated, but here goes. When I was a teen, I was only attracted to bad guys (ones that weren't good for me, ones that wouldn't stay around). So, here's my explaination....My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 12. After that I hardly ever saw my father. He only lived 30 min. away or so, but never seemed to care about us anymore. He ran from his family. I lost my Father totally, and it took a toll on me growing up. Girls need their father especially in the teen years. That is when they are finding who they are, going thru changes, when they need validation from their first love-their dad. I never got that. I never saw a health happy relationship from my parents when I needed it most. It rubbed off on me. I never realized how hurt I had been until I turned 25 or so, and one day a light bulb lit up in my head and it all made so much sense to me. Even then I was still attracted to "bad" guys. But I finally understood why. It was all I ever knew about love, what was shown to me from my parents. I felt subconciously that I choose these guys, knowing I would be hurt or used or rejected, because deep down inside I never felt worthy of real love, so I choose these guys who would reject me anyways....kind of strange, but it was true. Does this make any sense to you? An absent or abusive father makes a great impact on a little girl. It was something I had to work thru, and I did! My father finally came back into my life after his 2nd wife left him. He seemed to realize what he had done to our family. It took him 20 yrs to learn, but thank God that he did....hope I didn't get way off the subject here. Anyways, this is my opinion. God bless....

My answer to the question is that I didn't KNOW he was a BAD guy. He hid it well [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

We could turn this question around. Why do men choose to be in relationships with women who are bad for them? <p>I think for the same reasons... some of the above posters hit is right on the head.

Thank You all. I agree that Men make the same mistakes as well!.<p>Take Care
Bryan

There is a certain segment of the bad boy population that is very charming. And there is a certain segment of the good boy population that is not charming at all. Some good boys seem to say, "I'm good (honest, hard working, respectful). That should be enough." They never consider being charming, sexy, fun, alluring. I believe some women go for bad boys because they want to be charmed. And the good boys in their lives didn't turn the charm on.<p>Yes, I understand that with many bad boys, the charm is all an act. That's why they're so good at it. They've perfected the act with their many cons. But charm does not have to be an insincere act. Good boys can be charming if they try.

ok ladies...why do the "bad guys" appeal to you?? Are most women attracted to men just like "DAD"??

Thanks!

thanks

PB, sometimes I don't buy the childhood theory of choosing mates like parent.
My parents divorced when I was very young due to dad's A. He wanted to keep both her and mom.
Seeing the damage and pain from my childhood on, I was just the opposite of what most claim to be in behaving as parents did because that was what they saw. And thought that was what marraige entailed.
For one thing, I would never date a Married man.
Just the comeons I've had from some made me feel like puking! I could not respect someone who could do that, because I know the outcome.
I tried to choose someone who I thought would be just the opposite of my dad. Honest, faithful and love me enough to not risk losing me and family.
The bad boys always make it seem like so much fun, carefree, and lie through their teeth. It's like putting another notch on their belt!
I'm sorry to say this, but I think some people are just plain stupid!
Anyone with a rational thought, and morals can see through it like glass.
Or perhaps their just down to that persons level and that's who they really are at heart.
Screwing around, and playing the games is a no win situation. Someone or many always get burned and pay a high price.
It's about choices and when choosing, use the brain,not the crotch!
LouLou

P.S. Why do men go for bad women? What can possibly be the ego boost in getting a woman in bed who sleeps around.
Don't tell me she doesn't either. That the guys are the only ones who could conquer her virginal body.
If she falls in bed with you or an EA, she's a slut. She knows what she is doing and chooses. Do you men want a wife like this?
Should your wives sleep around? Hang out in bars and pick up guys? How would you feel? If the bad gals are so much fun, why can't your wife be a bad gal?
Ah, it's double standards I see.
Let me assure you men, there is nothing the slut can do that your wife can't. Most wives just hold themselves above such immoral behavior, and give themselves only to you.
If wives can be faithful, so can H's.
And the single gals who are choosing bad boys don't have self esteem to begin with. Possible they think that's all they can get or are entitled to.
One has to look inward to find what is wrong with them. Choices are based on what you perceive of yourself.
I think women who choose, knowingly, a bad guy,don't think highly enough of themselves.
There is truly a deeper psychological problem in both men and women who choose low life for mates or dating.
Maybe I'm egotistical, but I always considered myself worthy of the best! I feel I have way too much to offer to waste it on trash.
So men, why do you choose low life to cheat with or hang with?
Surely not the sex. That's plentiful at home usually. All you have to do is ask and receive.
EN's? Nah, most men I've seen with trashy women are out for one thing. And smooth talking gets it for them if shes low enough. I think men choose based on a womans mentality at times.
My FWH said the 2 he cheated with were stupid!
And he has told me he appreciates my high intelligence. So go figure.
LouLou