This is a question for all the WS's out there.<P>My W seems to think that if and when we divorce, that she will be intitled to everything. The house, the car, all the home furnishings, etc, etc. <P>Neither of us have contacted a lawyer but I have done some research on the net and figured out what my Louisiana rights were. <P>First off, Louisiana is a community property state. <BR>Half of everything is mine and the other half is hers. <BR>I know she will get half of my retirement and half of our savings. <BR>I know about what my child support payments would be.<BR>I understand that the house, car and things like that will go up in a Sheriff's sale. <BR>I told her that and she told me that I was full of sh*t. <BR>I have tryed to tell her but she still believes that she will get everything. <P>Her "New Love" lives in Alabama and is going through a divorce himself. <BR>I wonder if he is going to come over here and provide for her. (She has never had to work, I have always provided for her) I am scared that she will end up alone and struggling to make ends meet. <P>I guess what I am asking is if WS's understand and really think about the financial pitfalls of divorce?<P>Do WS's understand that they will be on their own once this takes place?<P>All responses are appreciated!<P>Thanks in advance<P>RN<P>Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.....

Ignorance wears no particular face. WS and bs alike may very well give nary a thought to the practical realities of divorce. As for me (ws) makes no difference, I am the breadwinner, my wife stayed home for 24 years to raise the kids, and I fully intend she be provided for the rest of her life, and I do not need a legal decree to assure that. As for actual divvying up of stuff, it is 1/2 hers, no argument from me, whatever she needs to feel fair, and safe.

Roughneck,<P>You are not full of dukey. Most times it's a 50/50 split. She definitely does NOT get EVERYTHING!<P>But one point of concern ... How long have you been married, I ask because you said you have been the sole provider and in most CPS's (Community Property States) if married greater than 10 years, your wife would be entitled to spousal support as well.<P>You may want to ask your attorney about this.<P>Jo

SNL and Resilient,<P>Thanks for the replies! SNL I think that you are right, she hasn't thought of the repercussions of divorce. I will always make sure that she has the essentials of life but I really think that she thinks that her lifestyle is not going to change and that I will always bail her out if she gets in trouble. I can't truely say that I will always be able or willing to do that!<P>Resilient, from what I can understand of the laws, she is intitled to support for 180 days and she keeps the house and car for the same amount of time. I will talk to a lawyer about that though....<P><BR>Thanks<P>RN<P>Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying....

roughneck,<BR>When I was thinking about leaving and getting my own place, I was scared that I couldn't provide for myself. My H and I talked about how to spilt things. I told him that since I was the one who wanted to leave he could keep the house, but I wanted the car and would take the car payments.<BR>then as I watched the OM in my life go thru a divorce and give up half of everything to his ex. I thought more and more about what I was doing. I also never moved into my own place. I moved in with OM in his rented house for a week before I knew that I couldn't live like that. I couldn't live with another man while I was still married.<BR>Funny, but yes, I had some moral thoughts during my A. anyways, eventually my H and I worked things out. But we talked of everything including how to divide our assets. While the OM got the divorce and gave up half of everything including his retirement. His lawyer told him in no state does a stay at home wife get anything more than half. And in some cases even less if she is the one who is unfaithful. But you need to check with your lawyer and learn what your rights are. <BR>I truly hope she sees the light and doesn't throw away everything good in her life.<BR>In the mean time, take good care of yourself and be prepared for the worse.<BR>debbie

Roughneck,<P>When my 1st WS left me in 1999, I took everything - 100% of the furniture, stocks, home, etc. I gave him his clothes, his truck and an old kitchen table from the garage. I kept the kids [2 boys 17 and 18] and declined child support payments because my 17 yr old was almost 18 anyway and I make a pretty substantial salary - much more than my H. I got him to agree to all of this before we ever went to court.<p>[ October 13, 2001: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]

Dear Roughneck,<BR>Having been through a divorce in Louisiana, and trying not to go through one again the LA law is 50/50 unless the 2 of you come to some other agreement. Good luck.

RN,<BR>I am the WS and I know the consicence for divorce. i seen the way my mother raised me. She was alone, and worked full time to support me. In fact I make more money and benifits then she does right now and I have less education than her.<P>IMO it should be equally shared. If both of you have bought things together then they should be shared. Your W never having to work probaly wants everything so she doesn't have to start all over. Unfortunately she will find out the hard way if she doesn't come out of that FOG.<P>I will pray for you both. Sherry

All,<P>Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your hearts.<P>Keep Smiling, <P>I hope that the fog lifts soon because I am slipping slowly into the divorce fog! There is only so much a man can take before he says SCREW IT.......

Amen RN,<P> Going to try calling you in just a minute.<BR> <BR> oh yeah, my email is jdmac1@yahoo.com<P> Jerry

Does your W want a D? what does she want out of the M ? <P>Hang in there RN. I know you and JD can do it. I know it's a pain, but you have great support and friends here for you.<P>Good luck. Sherry

Keep Smiling,<P>I'm tired girl! I'm tired of being treated like crap! I'm tired of being told that it is all my fault! I'm tired of being the whipping boy. <P>I didn't get married to end up like this but how many times does it take before I do something stupid? How many times will it take before I realize the she has problems that she won't except and has been unfaithful for 90% of our marriage. How much more pain is there that I don't know about? <BR>How many A's has she had that I don't know about? How many more will she have before I realize that I can't help her. <P>My dad has an old saying that rings true in this instance: You can't help someone that won't help themselves. <P><BR>You know what I mean?<P>RN