Hi all just feeling so scared of what the outcome of all this is going to be.<BR>Its now 16 months and H dosent seem to be any the wiser, he has been living alone for the past 5 weeks and dosent seem to miss us.<BR>Her H moved out 2 weeks ago so they now have a clear field, he hasent met her kids yet says he has been putting it off, for whatever reason.<BR>Last week we went out twice and i even asked him to stay one of the nights, and he did.<BR>I still cant believe he can love her that much and sleep with me??<BR>Im still glad i asked him to move out i do find it easier not knowing when he sees OW.<BR>He still says he dosent know what he wants im running out of hope, our kids wont have anything to do with him and he just dosent seem to give a dam.<BR>He says he is waiting for something to click in his head and then know what he wants, cant see that happening, i think hes got to make the choice but he just cant seem to do it!!!<BR>Sorry for rambling just on a downer. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi lizzle,<P>You are not rambling, you are sharing your frustration and rightly so. Now, your H is confused and taking you along for the ride. Is that what you want? If yes, then continue. If no, then step back take a look at your boundaries and ponder your next move. Do not be hasty. This is plan B we are now talking about. <P>It has only been a little while since your H moved out. The fact that he comes back shows there is still some attachment(of sorts). That is a positive sign. The down of this is that all the movement of people make the A look fresh again. But don't worry, they will soon find out that all this new situation will not make it look good for long. <P>You know like a lady who looks good if she puts on her cake makeup but without it YUCK!?!?!?! The WS doesn't know really know what the OW looks like...... The yucky side of her real character..... he will. In the meantime you enhance and improve yourself. Your self improvement steps will not go unnoticed by both the OW and WS. <P>L.

Hi lizzle, (((((lizzle))))) sounds like you need a hug, so sorry your feeling down today.I know how hard it can be. Can I make a suggestion?? If he is living with OW why are you asking him to spend the night with you?? I mean isn't that going to stop him from making a decision if he can have you and OW at the same time?? believe me I know how hard it is not to ask them to stay but I have been very strong about that, I feel the least contact the better, I have kids so we have contact but only when necessaary. If your H is still seeing OW I would only speak to him regarding finacial reasons or kids. He needs to see there are consquences for his actions. Stay strong my prayers are with you. Love Sally

Hi Orchard and Sally thankyou for taking the time to reply to my posts when i know you both have your own problems.<BR>He is not living with OW yet Sal but i guess maybe its only a matter of time, so i suppose i wanted to show him what he is losing, but it just hurts me all over again. <BR>Maybe plan B is the way to go still not to sure on that yet.<BR>All i know is i still love him with all my heart and soul, but i have pulled myself together quite a bit in the last few weeks.<BR>I dont cry much now, and ive got a job in a bar a couple of nights to give me something to think about, also im decorating at home.<BR>Maybe 16 months hurt is enough and im moving on in my own way.

Lizzle,<BR> Cant really give any good advice, but I can tell you that when my H saw I COULD make it on my own ok. I didnt need him at night to bathe and put the kids to bed, the grass got cut, and life went on without him it made a BIG difference.<BR> /it made a big difference to me also.<BR>We both know he is with our family not because I NEED him here but because we both want to be here.<BR> I agree you shouldnt sleep with him now that he has moved out, I know it will be hard for you, its as easy as slipping into a warm bath. Be strong. Show yourself and your children how strong and dependable you can be ALONE. If you have plan A effectivly OW will show her true colors and he will wake up.<BR>Good Luck

Hi lizzle. I know you are sad right now. I truly know how that feels and I'm sorry that we all have to go through this. You are stronger than you probably realize. You will get through this with or without your H. We are all here for you.<BR><<<Hugs>>><BR>C