I am in need of a marriage counselor and was going to get one in Florida when we leave in a few weeks. I have read alot that the Dr has written etc and he seems very good. I f any of you have used him as a MC I would appreciate your opinion of him. Im not sure a phone MC would be as good as a person to person and yet I like his "style" of trying to help you continue the love you have for your spouse and not just focus on the conflicts like most MC. That makes sense to me as I feel the love for my husband slipping away and its not really what I want I just can't deal with someone who has lied to me and I think they may still be involved. Any info about pros and cons to phone MC appreciated. Thank you,

Chardondeere:<P>I have used MB counseling for a few months now. Steve Harley and his sister Jennifer do the telephone counseling. My W and I have worked with Steve during this time. Is he any good? Well, I've got some experience to be very biased here. My original local counselor was useless unless I just wanted to complain about my problems.<P>Steve Harley didn't want to hear much about the past but he wanted to develop a plan for our future happiness. I read the Harley material before scheduling my first appointment. I liked the philosophy and I thought that it sounded like something that would help my W and I.<P>Unfortunately my W (WS) doesn't appear any closer to reconciling 6 months after d-day than on day 1. My W doesn't necessarily believe in the Hareley concept that you can fall in love with anyone that meets your EN. Because of this hesitation (I think) she isn't allowing "it" to happen. The OM has been out of the picture for about 4 months. She is keeping up her guard. However, we are much better at negotiating now than ever in our marriage and she is making a concious attempt to meet some of my EN. Unfortunately, she still doesn't want me to meet some of her EN (SF, Aff., Admir., Rec. Comp.).<P>Your question was is he any good. I think the Harley's are good at what they do. I feel much better about myself and the effort I am putting in to making this marriage work than I felt with my previous counselor. I can't say for certain though if it will work out for us and maybe that is the ultimate measure of the counselor's competance? Maybe not totally. Anyway, I don't think you should hestiate to give them a chance to work with you. I hope you get other responses to your question.<BR>SG

I think Steve is very good. I have called in twice. Last Monday, he talked to both of us, and talked to my H, the WS, for an hour - and my H didn't want to even call in. H admitted he like him, and he committed to calling him again - and then missed the appointment [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] . I talked to Steve just now, and he is very good at helping you understand love - falling in love and staying in love. He is good at listening to your situation, understanding it, and giving specific guidance on what to do.<P>I highly recommend him.