I just read your reply to MissPriss and I had to say that I have been looking and wondering about you...<P>I enjoyed our 'talks' and our thread with jeffers...<P>I know personally for me that because I am working again, I can't spend too much time posting...though I do lurk...I go through posting spurts...lol.<P>I'm trying to 'kick' the MB habit a bit...as I think I was a bit excessive...also it is a LB to H...so I try not to post when he is around...<P>Take care...you still have my email? You can always email me...<P>Cali

Hi Cali,<BR>I just have to jump in here and say that I TOO have missed AfterShock and how dare she think otherwise!!!!! <<<<HUGS to CALI & AFTER SHOCK>>>>>

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. I knew we'd see her again,<B>everyone</B> comes back eventually. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <P>I always assume when someone isn't here for a while it's because good things are going on and they're making better use of the time. <P>Hope things are going well for you, after shock!!!!<P>Jeffers

up for after shock--<P>I do understand what you're saying...before the forum went down, I was not on as much...I might post a lot for a couple of days...then only reply...then only lurk...<P>My life is getting busy...I don't post at home unless H is out of house or asleep...there are people here (you included [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]) whose opinions matter to me...I will stick around because of that...<P>My H doesn't lurk here...though OW and OW's H might still...he has said he will never come back...called you all my cheerleaders...<P>Take care, after shock...<P>Cali

^^up for After Shock^^

Thanks Cali, Bin, and Jeffers,<P>Thanks for your kind words. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <P>I guess Jeffers summed it up, things are going good. We are all so busy being productive at this household it is hard to "waste" time. And we have had alot of other stuff, and outside things to deal with. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <P>It is very difficult with the time constraints to even think about getting on here. But, there is another side of "here" that deals with helpfulness? that I don't feel. I miss you Cali, Bin, and Jeffers, and Orchid, mainemade, k9love, shocker17, and a few others. There is someone who intentionally avoids me, and that hurts - because that isn't what MB is suppose to be about. Someone I lent support too, but completely ignores me. Shows me there is a competition out there, because of how that person posts. I know there were some really weird things that were going on last summer. And it might be newbie nieviety when you don't know what is really going on, but you lend support.<P>It has been said time and time again - that new members jump on here, and say things and advice given - both situations - without even reading the principles and knowing what POJA, ENs, recovery agreement, etc. are all about. One of the problems with America today is people ask questions, don't read and don't try to figure anything out. Which is inherent over and over. I, myself, must have read 25 books on infidelity. One book in particular is exceptionally great, and sums up marriage perfectly - not a Harley book.<P>I don't know if the great reference materials that once were posted here are here. <P>MB was able to show me/us a place to end/begin. Showed us the marital recovery agreement, EN questionnaire, the 10 ENs, etc. Showed me how to look at my responsibility in the relationship (ie not meeting his en of domestic support). We are able to be more honest with each other, and this has changed our relationship.<P>I feel uncomfortable explaining this - as I care about you, I have alot of jumbled feelings about other intentions here, and that makes it hard for me to come here and try to explain. I guess its just the loneliness and dispair that comes with one's life (even when you have children, etc.) The biggest lesson learned, that hurts, is you give and give and give advice, but when you post and get little or no response, how can you feel that anyone here cares. Another way is I gave alot of support, but I needed support too. I don't know if anyone was looking for me, but I guess not, because my e-mail add was out there, but no msgs. So what does that tell you. Just shows you, you are not needed here. Sorry to sound like sour grapes here. I can't elaborate on all the wonderful things God is giving me of late. I've worked for them, but I am getting the recognition I justly deserve. My self-esteem was in the gutter for a bit, both because of my marriage, and some work I do. But as detailed above, my work truly appreciates me as is proved from recent nominations and kudos I have received. And I can tell little by little my marriage is getting back on track. Yes, there has been some SF - my second need. <P>So, at this stage of the game, I can't really say what will happen. As we know, the bad fades with age. So, I guess I'll walk down the steps of my soap box now.<BR>Bye all.

aftershock,<P>Don't go anywhere. I've loved your posts and your replies to my vents and shouts for help. You've been a great support. I'm sure others also benefited from your caring, thoughtful posts.<P>I've not been around for some weeks but what happened? I've been missing you and thinking about you. It sounds like you're getting your life together - which is great - I'm really happy for you.<P>take care and hope to hear from you [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>- Freddy<p>[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: Freddy ]