I'm going to share these because they grabbed me and made me pay attention. Maybe they'll help you, too.<P>I don't believe that he didn't know he was hurting me with his lies. Indeed, I even think he was occasionally blithe about it. This strikes me as the true heart of the whole matter. I believe that it is immoral to be cruel. No matter how weak you are, willful cruelty is immoral. There are no excuses.<P>It is a fundamental and absolute violence to willfully withhold from anyone the information they would need to make clear and rational choices about the substance and direction of their life.<P>Betrayal was something completely foreign to me. It took its power from the fact that the person I loved most had found the worst way to hurt me. It is like the abuser who feels better for taking his wife to the emergency room after beating her up.