I wish I would have found you sooner. Now I have found out that I did everything wrong after I found out about my husbands affair.<BR>I found out about a year ago and then he told me it was over. Well, it wasn't. I know this woman and called her. She said my husband has been promising her this past year he was leaving me. But, I had hurt my leg, had surgery, and now I have broken my arm so he told her I was helpless and couldn't leave.<BR>I'm not helpless. But why didn't he leave in between the times I was hurt. He didn't want to really leave? He told me that his affair had gotten out of hand, but he didn't break it off because he didn't want to hurt her. They have known each other all of their lives.<BR>He is 50 and she is 47. When I found out the affair was still going on I told him to just leave several times and then he would cry and say he didn't try to hurt me and I'd forget about it for a few days and he would stay. Sunday I blew up in a rage because he promised me he would tell her it was over, but didn't.I did everything wrong screaming and yelling and he said nothing.The next morning he just left and went straight to her. He called me yesterday and said not to worry he is fine and everything is going to be ok. He just needed 3 or 4 days to sort things out and he will call me tomorrow. That's today. Of course, he is fine he is with her and how is he going to sort anything out while he is with her. I have been nuts. I went to the doctor this morning and he gave me something to get some sleep and I can't eat.I know I'm crazy, but I want him back. I don't know what to say if he calls, I don't know if I want to talk to him right now. We have only been married 14 months. This affair started right after we were married. Steve is very good looking and had plenty of women. Married twice. He promised me we would be together forever, no more women, he was getting just to old for it.<BR>I believed him. Steve also is not well. The doctors gave him a year to live, but he has passed that. We have been together four years. The first year was hell with all the kemotherapy and he is in remition.He is an alcoholic and has severe liver disease.Right now I'm so tired of no sleep or food, but I need help. I know your going to say he's a loser and leave him alone. I think so too!<BR>But, he wasn't always like this and I love him so much.Please advise.

Vintagelace, I'm sorry for your pain. I'm fairly new around here myself. There are some very wise and (unfortunately) experienced people that post here. I would recommend you devour all the information on the site and listen to what some of these great folks have to say. They have helped me immensely! I keep telling myself &#8220;this too shall pass&#8221; It&#8217;s not much but it does help. In all of this don&#8217;t forget to take care of yourself!!! You&#8217;re a prime candidate for depression right now, you may want to see someone if it gets unbearable. Again, sorry that you are here but you have found a great place to get support! My thoughts will be with you.

((((Vintagelace))) Hugs to you. First of all, NONE of us here think you are crazy for loving your H. That said, you have been dealt a crushing blow. You've come to the right place for information and support. I think if you will look in the "Just Found Out" forum, you will find a thread for newcomers. Read as much as you can on this site about infidelity. We have all been where you are right now, and we understand your pain. You will experience many ups and downs. Many, MANY people here have gotten through this and recovered their marriages. First, work to get yourself "together." Read all the stuff here. If you can, get Surviving an Affair. It's got so much good stuff in it, to help you understand what you're going through and what your H is going through. Read and post as much as you need to. We are all here for you. Pray for strength and peace. I will also pray for you. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <P>MOM

Thank you for the kind words, prayers,and thoughts. This is terrible. I guess I'm wanting someone to tell me what to do or say.<BR>Or why is he doing this? Is going to come home? I feel so alone.