I guess I just want to vent. I was here several weeks ago and it seemed to help. Don't know why I've waited so long to discuss this again.<P>My husband has been gone for 4 months now. He left in June to think things over - said he had a place to stay but would not give out address or phone number to me or the kids. Found out he moved in with a woman (both police officers) and work together (he's 50 and she's 29). He's had been acting wierd since the first of the year and I should have picked up on this, because he's done this before and I should have known. Of course he moved out and is so unhappy because we just have too many issues to discuss. He won't talk about anything, tries not to be in the same room with me when he does come by to visit the kids and grandkids, never calls or has any contact with me unless I happen to anser the phone if he calls. We have been married for 23 years and I don't really know how to handle this.<P>How do you just get on with your life? I miss him and feel like I still love him, even though don't know how I can with his actions. <BR>He says he's going to file for divorce but hasn't yet. I think he knows it won't be pretty and I will fight for myself.<P>I just want to feel better. I feel sick all the time, have lost about 25 pounds, and I keep thinking of them living in her apartment together and every time he comes over he takes a few more of his things. <P>So - any good advice to just get on with life?<P>Stormy

Hi Stormy, <P>Does his things in your home bother you? I know that when H moved out on his own or even spent a few nights with OW, I wanted his clothes and all this stuff out of the house. I later was willing settle for leaving his stuff in the garage but definitely out of the house. WhY? Because it hurt too much to see his things knowing his body was elsewhere. <P>H could not understand that. I told him whether he understood or not was of no concern to me since seeing his stuff in the house was making me sick. It turned into a police incident when he tried to call the police on me for throwing his clothes out on the front porch. This was after he had several days and weeks to move his stuff out and procratinated. The result of his call got him arrested since the officer saw him push me. That made H mad. But I had to put his things out. I was getting sicker and sicker seeing them in the house. Yep, nice suits, clothes, pictures (H is an amatuer photographer), etc. In the garage. He kept telling the officer that yes he was moving out but no he 'waanted' to leave his things at home.!>>!!>! @>@>?!?!?!? Go figure, even the officer said he was unreasonable. <P>Ok, that was my story and my take. I no longer wanted to worry. So for me if H's body was someplace else, then I did not want to be responsible for his stuff. Get it out or lose it. That made him mad and eventually he saw his waywardness and came home. <P>In my case, OW's garage was too full for his stuff anyway. Her dogs, her internet business of selling tea stuffed up her garage and H's tools and stuff just didn't fit. Also they eventually started to not get along because OW started showing her bossy side. In the long run that is what did it. <P>For me I needed anything and anyone connected to OW out of my house, including H's things. <P>L.

Hi stormy1, Not much advice, but I know how you feel my H of 18 yrs.of M is also a police officer and has left me and his children about a month ago doesn't want to talk or work anything out, all he cares about is his own happiness, and probably the happiness of his OW. All I can say is concentrate on yourself and your kids (not sure if you mentioned Kids??) and keep posting, believe I know how you feel I also miss and still love my H why after all his done? well I guess because half of my life has been spent with him my whole world revovled around him and now he gone, thats a very difficult thing to accept we need time and lots of support. Take Care Love Sally