I won't re-post my entire story here but if you have time please go back and read it. Basically, he cheated on me, I found out, he kept doing it and telling me he wanted a divorce. Then, he accepted a job out of state and moved without really consulting me. I tried and tried to convince him to give us a chance but he thought it was easier for us both to move on. Now, I am beginning to move on and now he says he realizes the mistakes he has made and that he had his priorities mixed up. Now, he says he will do whatever it takes. Well, now after all this time of begging and pleading, I don't know what I want. I know I love him and when he came home this weekend it was so easy to slip into our normal, confortable routines. It was wonderful to have him home. However, how would I ever trust him? My head tells me to move on and my heart tells me "why would I leave someone whom I love". I don't know how I will ever make this decision. How do you decide to walk away from someone you love? How do I stay and look forward to a life of mistrust and constant worry. I don't want to be the crazy person I became while we were dealing with all this. I need some advice and maybe a sign from God on which is the right road to take. Any advice or words of wisdom would really be appreciated.

Having him home again won't take away what you've gone through and it will take time for you to heal. I also think if you both can talk, honestly and openly without being hurtful that will help you. If you have questions that needs answering - ask them, in a non-LB'ing way of course. Tell him how you are feeling and find out ways both of you can help each other. He needs to realize that he will have to be more accountable and give you more assurances in order for him to gain your trust back. <BR>Have you done any counselling? This may be a good way to start off. DOing the EN Questionnaire is good as well. <BR>I guess my point is, you won't know unless you TRY and just being under the same roof doesn't cut it - that's just the start and there's a lot of work ahead.

adviceplease,<P>I agree with Alberta, If you do not try, you will always wonder what could have been.<BR>If you don't know what you want, don't make any irreversible decisions.<P>Have you read the information here on this site? The book Surviving an Affair? It's really important to read them because they tell you to what to expect in the way of emotions. They also explain that the process of recovery takes patience. It will take a while for your H to refocus himself.<P>What you are feeling is normal and expected. My son is going through the same situation as you are. His attitude is that he will not let his M end without knowing that he has done the very best he can to make it right. Then, if things don't work out, he will not have any regrets, as far as his efforts were concerned.<P>Let us know how things are going for you. We will hold your cyber-hand while you work through this.<P>Estes