I have read each of your replies to my previous post. Thank you for your insight, advice and most of all your prayer.<P>I know in my heart that I must end the relationship with my on-line aquaintance. I was fired from my job in recent weeks. I was told it was for budget reasons, but I felt it was God's judgement for my on-line affair. I know I will not have peace or happiness as long as I continue this relationship. I have thought many times in my mind how I would end this on-line romance. I have considered just disappearing from the net, but I owe the lady I am involved with an explaination. I know whatever I do or say, it is going to be very painful for her and that troubles me. I also know I am defying God and deceiving my wife and that is robbing my integrity and self respect.<P>My wife has had a difficult year. Her job was cut by 2/3 and she has struggled with some family and church issues which have been very, very hard and I feel as though telling her about my foolishness is "emotionally" piling on. Had someone told me a year ago I would be in this emotional, spiritual trap, I would have thought it would be a description of someone else's life. At times, I just don't recognize myself and I can't believe I allowed this to happen. All I had to do was keep away from chat rooms and Instant Messaging and I would be far removed from this mess.<P>I know God can resolve this. I know He has the answer. I know He has helped many of you. I am just frozen. No matter what I do, I hurt two people who don't deserve it. I am active in my church and I am too ashamed to confess this to my pastor and cause a problem within in the church becasue of my sin.<P>Again, thank you for your encouragement and your help. God works through people like you.

Allright afc, pardon me if you find this offensive, but IMO you need a swift Christian kick in the pants. That was an extremely self-serving post, and you apparently did not listen to much that was posted to you. It is NOT your decision on who to hurt or not, that belongs to GOD, GOD, GOD, did you hear that? You are acting extremely prideful, ask forgiveness if you see the need from the ow. But you MUST ask forgiveness of your w, you cannot keep this a secret....the truth sets you AND YOUR WIFE free. You have NO status whatsoever to determine what your wife can or cannot know, or deal with...you are NOT her father, you do not have any such right, recognize that for the temptation of satan it is. TELL HER NOW.

A F C,<P>Doing the right thing is often painful. The decision is not who to hurt or not hurt, W or OW. The decision is what is right and what is wrong.<P>No brainer here. Your internet relationship is wrong, wrong, wrong. Stopping it is right, honorable, and respectful of your marriage. Stop debating with yourself. You are just trying to justify your continuation of the A. (There is no justification.) Yes, it will hurt. You and OW will get over it. Do the right thing today. I'll bet you will feel better spiritually, immediately.<P>Estes

Look in Just Found Out and read the Notable Posts. I'm sure there must be someone's "No Contact" letter in there that you could get some ideas from on what you should say.<P>Good luck! God is not punishing you. He wants only the best for you. Sometimes we open the door to enemy activity in our lives, through disobedience, but God's mercy and love is there for the receiving... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

AFC,<P>God loves you no more, and no less for what you have done. Christs death on the cross was a gift to you from God to conquer your sin, not just this sin but all your sin.<P>By continuing with your affair you are further putting up a barrier between yourself and God. You know it's wrong and this is stifling your relationship with him. However, only God can give us complete forgiveness for our sins. He can wipe the slate clean and renew your spirit no matter how bad you feel. You have to trust that he has forgiven you the moment you ask for forgiveness.<P>You say you need to give the OW an explanation, but I think you have to be very careful that Satan doesn't drag you back into conversation again with this W. I think you should send a no contact email, rather than trying to explain via chat.<P>I do understand how easy it is to get addicted to chatting to people on the net. But you have to remember that so much of this is just fantasy .. that's what makes it so addictive. Also, remember this is you marriage on the line here. Nip this in the bud through prayer and getting close to God, before this causes even greater problems.<P>It's not my job to judge you and I hope i've been clear in showing that i'm not.<P>You are not a failed christian, you are just a sinner like all the rest of us. Remember God loves you no less than anyone else, but what you are doing is distancing yourself from him.<P>I will pray for you.<P>Plec.