I've read several threads where it was recommended that the BS should have access to the e-mail account(s) of the WS. My W didn't have an internet affair or exchange e-mails with OM but I would feel better knowing who she was communicating with WITHOUT having to be descrete about it. I think I feel like I need this access because she has been so secretative about her work in general (she works mostly out of our house) and she met OM through her work.<P>Any suggestions out there on how to bring up this topic without committing a LB (selfish demand)? Steve told me today that I took the wrong approach on this and made it look like a selfish demand. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] (he didn't have time to give me a suggestion for negotiating this).<P>On the side, I don't know how so many people can write that they haven't committed a LB in weeks, months, etc and have Plan A'ed perfectly. More power to you if you can. Man, just one LB and BOOM, many deposits are voided.<BR>SG

In the book "After the Affair" there is a great section that goes through "low cost behaviours" and "High cost behaviours" that a BS asks for for recovery. It is very interesting.<BR>My suggestion would be approach it from the point of view of having both of you having complete access to each other's email, voicemail etc. You don't want to hide anything from her, and vice versa.