I'm doing better these days, it seems. But it would be nice to be able to talk to others about what we have been going through (besides our therapist!) <p>I know I was in the wrong... and am trying to forgive myself and for H to forgive me. I'm also trying to forgive my H for all the anger he has had in our marriage for years.<p>H has his parents to talk to and some of his relatives. I feel I have no-one.... I could NEVER tell my mother or relatives about what I've done... and none of my friends know, except one...and I don't want to constantly talk to her about it.<p>Do any of you WS feel as if your every move is being watched? As if NOTHING you do will be good enuff to make up for what you have done? As if all your good intentions go unnoticed???<p>I'm basically a good person. I just became so hurt and lonely and angry.... that I became weak and vulnerable. YET, I did have a choice....and I chose the wrong path.<p>I hope you all can see my side and not condemn me. Just wanted some thoughts from some WS out there...... thanks....

Hi Cm,<p>I am a BS but wanted to let you know that you are always welcomed here to vent, share and learn. <p>Here is a {{hug}} for you. Please know that there are many negative comments made about the OP. If the OP continues to be an OP (meaning that they want to continue the A with a married person - WS with full knowledge the wS is married), then those types may find it a bit uncomfortable here. But from your post you seem like someone looking for help and understanding. Your remorse carrys you towards recovery. Possibly 40% of the way. That is good. <p>You can get support here for you and your spouse. There are a few here that were WSs and find support here and give excellent support in return. <p>So please continue to visit here. I wish you and your H a good recovery. It is hard for the guys sometimes but you are both willing to read and post here it may help. Having a willing attitude to admit and work on one's issues is a step in the right direction. Will it continue to be brought up in your face? Unfortunately, yes it will for a while. <p>Just imagine if there were an OC in all this, wouldn't it be hard to hide the fact that there was an A? Well for your H, it is just that serious. <p>JHMO,
L.

ConfusedMom,
Not that many WS posts here ... usually they are fogese (in the fog). It seems that you are out of it already, welcome. I am BS but I know how you feel, my WW afraid of picking up phone since D-day she do not dare to talk to her dad or brother or freinds but me and OM [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] . She is constantly wondering about anybody else judging her. She is still in the fog but I could see pain in her too ... but she has not seen the light yet.

Good Morning Confused Mom... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hey...welcome to the Roller Coaster!! I love roller coasters...we learn so much about ourselves and others!! Hey, don't you feel as if no other WS are here for you!! Just to let you know that there are those of us here that listen and understand, I'll add my link to a post I did awhile back that has helped some. I do know how you feel about being watched, not forgiven, trapped sort of, but don't despair, it will change. It will take alot of work but the most important things it takes are patience, love, and understanding on our part. The BS will have triggers and worries and fears that they need to work through, but don't forget, we put alot of them into action, and only we can help them get through it!! You hang in there...read this post, and come on back anytime. There are lots of BS here that understand and will reach out to help you too...but I know how you feel about the need to talk to other WS just to have that someone that understands...<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=010715&p=3<p>Have a great day and hang in there!!<p>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<p>Trueheart